One hell of a golf cart!!
We were up and going by 7:30 am as we had big plans for today!
I took Mary to her painting class at 1:15 p.m., then went to my heart doctor’s appointment at 1:45 p.m. As soon as I was done, I returned to the Tustin Senior Citizens Center to pick up Mary, and then we went to Old Ranch Country Club in Seal Beach.
I arrived at the doctor’s office at 1:10 pm, and he took me 30 minutes early. Bad news: the hand operation had to be canceled as the doctor wants me to undergo a treadmill test next week before I go under general anesthesia during the operation.
Mary came out of class with her new roll-around painting rig, carrying her latest work of art. We blasted off to Seal Beach like squirrels who had just spotted a hidden stash of acorns. I half expected us to leave little fire trails behind us!
The pumpkins in her painting were perfect timing!
Mary’s #3 painting is another fantastic effort.
We immediately framed the piece and called The Louvre in Paris for their assessment. Then we called the insurance man to have it insured for millions.
Paris reacted with “Sac A Lea Blew. Fantastique, quelle œuvre d’art !”
Charlotte Sanders hosted us today. This will be my first time playing in almost seven years, and Mary hasn’t played since 1996, or 28 years!
They sound of “snap, crackle, and pop” was heard everytime we bent over to tee up a ball!
Charlotte’s Hole-In-One! I was there!
Today was a hoot! We got there early enough to go to the members driving range, and we had a stroke of luck! Remember, it takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do!
Remember: In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
Mary was reminded to address the ball, and then I heard under her breath, “Hello, Ball!!” To make matters worse, she asked me if it was a Miss or a Mister!
The clubs were pristine but years out of date!
My game is so bad I had to have my ball retriever regripped!
I had a flashback to my childhood! The Queen of Hearts is a character from the book Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland by the writer and mathematician Lewis Carroll. She is a foul-tempered monarch whom Carroll himself pictured as “a blind fury” and who is quick to decree death sentences at the slightest offense.
The poor flamingo!
Mighty Casey is now at bat, and we can see squirrels, ducks, aardvarks, mongooses, gooney birds, mud hens, turtles, and other wildlife scampering away to save their lives!
Q: What do you call a wizard who can turn himself into a golf club?
A: Harry Putter.
FORE!!!
As we approached the #6 hole, a long par five, the local geese eyed us with great suspicion. They were ready to take flight when they saw us coming.
It was almost a traffic jam of geese because I heard them honking.
The geese were giggling at our antics.
Then the fun started; I was on the green in four shots. One more carefully played putt, and I would have parred this puppy!
Q: Golf is the easiest game in the world.
A: It’s just really hard to play.
You will notice no sign of Mary and Charlotte; they stayed well behind the Master Slicer!
Charlotte suggested we take this snap as I manage 140 yards and put the ball onto the green; it’s just a putt away from victory!
Q: What’s the easiest shot in golf?
A: Your fourth putt.
I must talk to Joe about my driver! I was shocked that my 3-wood did so well!!
Mary looked over and said, “Your golf is improving. You’re missing the ball much closer than he used to!”
Below is my favorite shot of the day. Charlotte saved the day by retrieving and moving us forward with great aplomb!
We look pretty good after a three-mile walk!
We found some later afternoon sun for a quick photoshoot.
The sight of the clubhouse reminded us it was dinner time, so we played one more hole before declaring victory!
The clubhouse was in view as we turned the corner on #7
We had to remind Mary not to take golf suggestions too literally.
No, No, we didn’t mean that exactly!
Oh my, the ball was so embarrassed it turned red!
Mighty Mary be at bat…
She did NOT miss it; it was a practice stroke! There was a definite “snap” as the club head broke the sound barrier.
There was a thunderous sound as the ball went from zero to 120 MPH in seconds.
We had dinner with Charlotte at the window overlooking the course. The ladies enjoyed a Filet Mignon dinner complete with champagne and wine. I stayed with the Old Ranch Chili and a Sea Salt Baked Potato. We had a wonderful evening with Miss Charlotte.
BTW, Charlotte already played eighteen holes at 11:00 am this morning; she is a trooper!
The sun went down, and the course went dark!
On the way out, Charlotte captured us for posterior… oops, I meant posterity!
We had a ball!
Lampson, the Old Ranch mascot, was behind us, and he approved.
The SMOOOOOOCH is heard around the world.
We drove home and described our pleasant pains, swinging the bat for nine holes and walking three miles.
We were in the swim spa within minutes of arriving home. Who needs to take out the clubs or even remove our shoes when we have a hot tub waiting to embrace us like a long-lost relative?
We dove in so fast that I’m pretty sure we left a trail of crumpled golf clothes behind us. Who knew relaxing could lead to such Olympic-level disrobing? If only our neighbors could witness our soaking skills—they’d be asking for lessons in how to relax and say “Ahhhh” in six different languages.
We were soon sawing logs!
We dreamed of golf all night long!
