Who Turned The Lights Off?

Posted on Wednesday, January 8, 2025 by Paul

It was 2:00 am, and the wind was howling like a banshee when I got up to take Scout for a drink.  As soon as I was vertical, Scout galloped down the hallway towards the back door, but to my dismay, the motion-sensitive hallway light failed to shine.  My oh my, I am in the dark attempting to get Scout to his water, and the place is dark with a capital “D.”

SCE warned us about the wind, and sure enough, they flipped the switch at 12:09 am, as indicated by my internet-connected Honeywell thermostat system.

I waited for Scout to slurp his factory-outside water before returning to bed. The sound of me banging into the hallway (without my flashlight) woke the Mrs., and I explained the situation. We both said, “Here we go again!”

We went to Benji’s for lunch and tried the “Jewish Penicillin” to see if it would help my cough. The soup was OK, but the two Hot Toddies worked miracles.

Looking at my beautiful wife makes me feel better already!

Our house cleaners were due at about 3:00 pm, and we had an Elks engagement at 3:45 and dinner with Dru and  Bill Capps afterward.  We told Domilita to do her best in the dark and without electricity.

We had a great dinner, and it was Pasta Night, so no one went home hungry!

When we got home, Mary backed out Precious, and I retrieved our trusty 8KW generator from its usual resting place in the garage. After a few pulls on the starter, it was up and humming, and Mary and I ran cords to the two refrigerators and the deep freezer. We let the engine run most of the night, much to the chagrin of the neighbors, although we have had no complaints.

We went to bed at 7:00 pm, and we both woke up due to the wind whistling, thinking it was 6:00 am.  NOPE!  It was 11:00 pm.   We tossed and turned all night, finally gave up at 6:0 am, and went to work.

 

 

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The Wind Cameth And The Wind Taketh Away!

Posted on Tuesday, January 7, 2025 by Paul

Oh my! We are at the blue dot, right in the middle of the storm!!

We heard about the wind, and let me tell you, at 7:00 am, it wasn’t just whooshing – it was howling like a toddler who lost their favorite toy!  I guess it’s not just the leaves getting blown around; it looks like the whole neighborhood had a hairdryer malfunction.

When I went to the garage, it was a fantastic sight—I could see the top of the workbench, all the drawers were rolled in, and we could walk around without tripping over anything! I spent two hours yesterday straightening things up!

We left our home at 8:15 am to sign up for Mary’s next watercolor class at the Tustin Senior Citizens Center.

While she was inside, I thought about how much computers have come along.  The picture below is an IBM FIVE MEGABYTE  hard drive for an IBM computer.

Five Megabytes in 1957? Oh My!

I have three 20 TERABYTE hard drives on my desktop!  They are connected to our iMAC,  giving us 12,000,000 times the storage, 1998 pounds lighter, and 10,000,000 times faster than the IBM drive of 1959.  Sixty years has made a tremendous difference!

We signed Mary up for another watercolor session and then headed home to prepare for a visit to Dr. Kim.

We were so happy because when we got home, there was not a single elephant in the backyard, so Scout was doing his job… he’s a good boy!  He was pooped out, so we let him rest!

Our supervisor is in action!

Mary has signed up, so it is time to visit a doctor.

Dr. Kim looked at the charts and pronounced me healthy (albeit slightly ugly).  There was no sign of any cancer, so the procedure worked!!  I will see him again in six months and then once a year thereafter.

Mary and I await the doctor!

Through the doctor’s office windows, we could see that the wind was beginning to pick up, the trees were leaning to the south, and dust was in the air.

A view four floors up over Orange, CA

Dr. Kim, my urologist, is a great guy!

Dr. Kim is a very personable fellow and knows his stuff.

Scout heeded his afternoon scratchies!

When we got to the car, the flag was flying, and the dust was everywhere.  On the bright side, all our leaves in the front yard will be down the street when we get home.  On the negative side, all our neighbor’s leaves will be in our front yard; you can’t win with the wind!

The flags are flying!  It was blowing so hard that she tied down her hair!

When we got home at about 12:30 p.m., we could hear the flags battering, flapping, fluttering, and pommeling in the breeze! Yes, the flag pole was bending under the pressure of the wind, but so far, it had stayed upright!

ATTENTION!!!

We worked around the house, but the third member of our family, Scout-a-puss, decided to sleep!  After All, he said, “No elephants means I worked hard!!”

I finally went through my clothes as I determined I did not need, at 80 years old, 16 pairs of jeans and 40 dress shirts (many of which have collars of 17 1/2 inches).  So, with great aplomb, I tossed two dress shirts, pants, and black T-shirts into the garage for delivery to people in need!  Oh my, there is a closet in there.  Did I mention I got rid of ten pairs of shoes?  We finally figured out what the term “minimalist” means! It’s like cleaning your house and realizing you only need one spoon, sock, and a single potato for the rest of your life. Who knew that living with just enough to survive could feel like a competitive sport?

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Monday Arrived And We Worked

Posted on Monday, January 6, 2025 by Paul

I jumped into the Silver Fox this morning at 5:30 am and navigated to Los Alamitos to meet my dermatologist. He did his thing, leaving my face dotted with bandages. I loudly complained when they did not have Spongebob Squarepants-colored band-aids; alas, I am dotted with flesh-colored band-aids!

My appointment was at 6:15 am, and Dr Newman took me in right on time.  He did three biopsies, so I expect to get the news on Tuesday.

The Silver Fox and I returned home to pick up Mary before the gym appointment.  We arrived at 8:30 am for thirty minutes on the exercise machines.   That reminded me that I plan to move our exercise machines upstairs into “The Loft” so we can exercise, overlooking the backyard, or, better yet, watch the 60″ roll-around the TV while we stay trim and fit!

The Silver Fox just celebrated his 50-thousandth mile!

After returning from the gym, we began working on the closets. Mary, a doctor, decided to do her medicine closet. We filled a large trash bag with out-of-date goodies.

Not to say Mary is old, but we found that The Spoon of Diocles, also called the Diocletian kyathiskos, was an ancient medical tool allegedly designed by Diocles of Carystus for removing arrowheads.  It was a long bronze or iron tool with two hooks ending in a curved scoop with a hole and a perforation. This tool would be pushed under and then between the arrow and the flesh.  The head of the arrow would be caught in the hole, and the scoops would cover the barbs. Thus, the flesh would not be pierced when the arrow was dragged out.

Mary found her ether maker in its original box. Its “use by” date is 1916. Doctors and dentists began using ether as an anesthetic for dental and surgical procedures in the 1840s. However, people drank it in countries like Norway, Russia, and France. Women even held “ether parties” in their homes. Eventually, chloroform became a more popular anesthetic than ether.

It took me a while, but I convinced her she no longer needed her ether maker!

Mary fixed a pastrami sandwich, and we had some turkey carcass soup; downright yummy!

We worked all afternoon and into the evening and hit the sack around 9:30 pm.

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First Monday Of The Year And We Be Working!

Posted on Monday, January 6, 2025 by Paul

 

 

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Oh Dear, Nothing On The Agenda!

Posted on Sunday, January 5, 2025 by Paul

It is Sunday morning, and we examined the calendar. It was blank, bald, bare, devoid, empty, inexpressive, lifeless, lifeless, naked, and vacant of any activities.  This was quite an emotional experience for us as we usually plan the day over coffee.   OK, we can do this!  We drank our coffee and searched for the top of our respective desktops!

I found an old bill on a clay tablet with the letters in cuneiform script. Cuneiform is a logosyllabic writing system that uses wedge-shaped impressions to spell words. It’s not a language but a way of writing distinct from the alphabet.

We cleaned around the house for the rest of the day, and Mary organized my bathroom. She discovered I have the world’s supply of LAVA soap, more toothpaste than Ralph’s Market, and enough combs and brushes to gussy up a herd of buffalo.

We were getting hungry around 11:30 am, so I got out the steaks we had remaining from the shishkabobs we made earlier in the week and marinated them with anything I could find in the frig, including some Italian dressing!

We had three steaks remaining from our shishkabob!

After the steaks had sat in the magic solution for about half an hour, Mary came in, did the asparagus, and assisted with the mushrooms.  We decided to have the remaining grapefruit juice with lunch, and I decided a splash of vodka would make for a delicious Greyhound drink!

In six minutes working hand in hand, we were ready for lunch!

Lunch was terrific, but it was time to go back to work.  I cleaned off my desk and got all the bills in order, paying them as I went.  Mary attacked the three cabinets in the kitchen, and after removing things we never use, she could stash all the booze we got at Christmas time; it looks like a liquor store in there!  Excellent, all the liquor is organized, but we don’t drink!

Dru popped over for an hour, enabling us to cease our activities and rest. We recanted last year’s activities, and she remarked that she loved going to Riverside with us to see the Festival OF Lights at the Mission Inn.  She also said several times how absolutely fantastic Bob and Robin were during the escapade.  Mary and I feel most honored to have Robin and family in our lives, as well as Colleen, Joe, Michele, and Zack and their families.

I took a short nap and at 4:00 pm went to CVS to visit my favorite pharmacist!

We watched TV and around 5:00 pm, I got an email from the hospital, and they discovered why I had a cough.  The word is too long to put here, but it is easily treatable.  I think it is Pseudomonas Aeruginosa, a bacteria that is treatable with antibiotics.  So, in another week, I’ll be back to normal! That’s right, folks—mark your calendars! I’ll be trading in my pajamas for real pants and my Netflix binge sessions for actual human interaction. Prepare yourselves for the return of the “functional adult”—I hear they can be quite a sight!

We crashed around 10:00 pm as I need to wake up at 5:00 am and head to Los Alamitos dor a derm appointment.

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Posted on Saturday, January 4, 2025 by Paul

We got up early and worked all day putting Christmas in their boxes! Mary did most of the moving/packing while I resorted to lifting and staging things for the boys who came over later.

We were just about pooped when the bell rang, and Joe and family came to visit.  We traded them the use of our van for some muscles, moving all of the boxes back into the garage attic for the next eleven months!

While the boys slaved away, Mary and I visited with Amy.

Miss Amy came with Joe and the boys, so we visited.

Joe departed around 4:30 p.m., and we quickly, like bunnies, got ready for the birthday party of our grandson’s father-in-law, Gary. As usual, we are always on the move—like a cat on a Roomba! One moment, we’re on the couch, and the next, we’re doing the cha-cha in the kitchen while avoiding laundry like it’s a personal vendetta! If only our energy levels worked as efficiently as our coffee consumption!

Moreno’s is just six minutes from our house, which is perfect because it takes me about that long to convince myself that I need a taco! I swear my car has a built-in GPS that only directs me to the nearest food spots. It’s practically a culinary homing beacon!

We arrived along with the family right on time and were seated inside as it was a tad zippy on the patio!

Zack and Becca sat across from us, making it impossible to ignore their animated hand gestures. Every time Becca laughed, Zack insisted on showing off his “dancing eyebrows,” while I wondered if we’d been invited to a dinner party or a comedy club! Honestly, at one point, I half-expected a spotlight to shine down, and for them to start charging admission!

Grandson Zachary and his bride Rebecca made for a fun evening.

The kids visited everyone.  Noah, Zack’s Best Man at the wedding was there and we got to visit with his two little ones.

Remington joins the fun, always clowning around.

Gary was surrounded by family including cousins who came in from out of state.  We all sang happy birthday.  The entire evening was quite enjoyable.  Family is a good thing!

Gary celebrates his 60th birthday!

Gary is a good friend and the grandpa to my great grandchildren!

We departed around 9:00 pm and headed home, a whole six minutes travel time.  We were tired from packing away Christmas so we hit the sack.  We lasted about 13 seconds.

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The Day After The Procedure I Was “OK”!

Posted on Friday, January 3, 2025 by Paul

Whatever they put in the painkiller yesterday worked; I slept clean through the night and didn’t wake up until 6:47 am this morning.   Mary woke soon after and made me some tea before returning to bed.  I heard her scurrying around in the bedroom and looking to see what was happening; she was getting ready for the gym!  I forgot today was Friday!

We went to the gym, and I did pretty well until I became warm. Then, I cut the exercises short and started to cough again.

When we returned home, we began looking at the house and thinking about packing up Christmas. Finally, around mid-afternoon, we got into gear, and the process began!

We began in the family room.

Oh my, where did all this stuff go?  We had boxes and boxes of “stuff,” and this year, we tried to get everything back in its original boxes; we did pretty well!

We have completed the living room/TV room.

Finally, at 9:30 p.m., we declared victory and went to bed with the idea of getting up early and finishing everything.   Joe and the kids may come over this morning to get the van (Joe’s truck is in the desert getting fixed).

We got a note from Colleen that she found a brass big like my mother, her gransmother gave her many years ago at a swapmeet in Indiana.

She was so happy to have found this little guy!

NOTE: 42 days, and we will be at sea with Sarah and Jon, sailing away to Mexico on a week-long adventure!

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Off To The Hospital January 2nd! (Mary Arranged For A Private Room)

Posted on Thursday, January 2, 2025 by Paul

We were up early and working in the office, attempting to find the desktops. We were up early, caffeinated to the max, and diving into the office like explorers searching for lost treasures—only our treasure was buried under mounds of paperwork that seemed to multiply like rabbits. If you think finding desktops is a piece of cake, try navigating a paper avalanche! I half expected to discover a long-lost coffee mug from 2010 or a rare species of dust bunny in the process. Who knew that in the quest to be “organized,” I’d end up training for an extreme office marathon? Buried under mounds of old paperwork.

After 8:00 am, I was not to drink OR eat, oh my!  On my last trip to the kitchen at 7:59 am, the last chocolate in the previous candy box whispered to me as I wandered by in a daze.  I overcame this by slamming the top of the box closed and running back to the office.

At 11:00 am, we prepped to go outside and set our GPS for Saint Joseph’s Hospital in Orange.  Mary decided I should wear my black jogging outfit because it makes my butt look cute (I swear I am going to send her to an eye doctor!).

We arrived at 12:15 am for a 1:00 pm appointment, which was good as we beat the post-lunch rush!    A male nurse came out and asked if I could go with the flow instead of smoking a pain pipe, poking several Voo-doo dolls dressed as the medical staff, and doing incantations in the lobby!  I responded accordingly.

We were sent to the procedure area at 1:00 pm sharp, and I was instructed to put on the hospital gown, but he said in no uncertain terms, “PLEASE keep your pants on, AND the gown opens in the back.!”  Maybe he remembered me from my last visit.   What was the nice nurse telling me??

We went through all the pre-procedure chit-chat, including signing away my firstborn. (I was happy to do that!  It’s an inside joke.)

A bronchial scope procedure, also known as a bronchoscopy, is a procedure that allows a doctor to examine my airways and lungs. During the procedure, a doctor inserts a thin, lighted tube with a camera into your nose or mouth and down your throat. This was the operative word; I am sure it was the diameter of a milk bottle.   The doctor then used the camera to view images of my airways and perform various procedures.  I swear it went in so far I could see the color of my underwear!

During the procedure, I was given medicine through an IV to help me relax, and I was put under general anesthesia. I had a numbing drug sprayed in my mouth and throat and a numbing jelly placed in my nostril  (I would have preferred whisky). They said the procedure may feel uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt.  He did say I might need a stool softener.e

OK, I was out like a light and didn’t see anything or feel anything, but I did dream of my beautiful bride driving me home, and I was in a complete body cast!

After a few minutes, I woke up in the recovery room.  I was a recovering pentathol addict!  I did feel woozy, but I was not going to let on in front of my amazing wife, so I tried to put on my pants.  Several people complained about the “loud and obnoxious pole dancer” who was trying to put on clothes instead of taking them off.  I acquiesced and allowed Mary to get me back in presentable attire.

Mary drove home the seven miles, making it in under two minutes (a new record for Vicky to beat).

I had not eaten in days, so I was ready to eat the doorknob off the bathroom door when Mary suggested kabobs!  That would keep me busy long enough to make it until 6:30 am when the doctor said I could eat again!

In the oven at 3:30 degrees for a few minutes, they disappeared!

The meds were still in my system, so MAry put me to bed and got me into my “Papa Bear” jammies at around 7:30 pm, and I did NOT open my eyes until 6:45 am the following day!

Also, I did not cough all night, and Scout, fearing for his life, stayed asleep all night (I think!).

 

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HAPPY NEAR YEAR 2025!

Posted on Wednesday, January 1, 2025 by Paul

Goodbye, 2024. Go away and stay away!

We found a great way to start the year: a trip to the Segerstrom Performing Arts Center to see Back To The Future.

We had brunch at the Silver Trumpet across the street from the theater.   Robin, Bob, Bill Capps, Mary, and I enjoyed a leisurely brunch with bottles of champagne and lively conversation!

We landed at 11:30 am, tight on time!

Robin and Bob decided to hitch a ride with me this morning, and guess who got to play chauffeur? That’s right, I was the designated driver! I mean, if I had known I was getting into a comedy show on wheels, I would have charged them admission! I think my driving skills were impressive—especially when I navigated with one hand while holding a coffee cup in the other, pretending I was on a cooking show with all the dramatic flair.

“And now, my friends, let’s spice it up with a little lane change! Who knew driving with passengers could be such a thrill? Buckle up, folks; it’s going to be a bumpy ride full of dad jokes and pit stops for snacks!”

Robin and Bob looked great after last night’s party and regaining their composure after this mornings terrifying ride.

There were  many dining options but in keeping with my desire to get back to 190 pounds, I chose the salmon bowl.  When it was served, it looked like a minnow but that what happens when one is on a diet!

Bill had not been to the performing arts center before.

Bill and Mary were ready to see the show.  Bill is always charming and awaiting for whatever outbursts come from yours truly.

When Marty McFly is transported back to 1955 in a time machine built by the eccentric scientist Doc Brown, he accidentally changes the course of history. Now, he’s in a race against time to fix the present, escape the past, and send himself… back to the future. When Back to the Future hits 88mph, it will forever change musical theatre history.

Hop in; it is going to be quite a ride!!

To say the show was high-energy would be an understatement.   With singing, dancing, and terrific music, it kept us on the edge of our seats all afternoon—the production lasted two hours!

In the final scene, the car is lifted into the air and comes out toward the audience before zooming off at 88 mph to return to 1984.

The cast kept busy changing costumes from the 1950s to the 1980s to 2000 and beyond!

After the show, we stopped at the Silver Trumpet again and had a drink before going home.

It was beginning to get foggy, so we departed around 6:30 pm for the short ride home.

Upon entering the house, Mr. Bark, known as Scout, came to see what the fuss was about.   He was happy to see us and required roughly ten minutes of scratching.

We got a glass of wine and headed across the street to visit Jeff, our neighbor, and we stayed with him for 45 minutes discussing the day’s events!

“OK, youse guys; you must stay with me for a while!!!”

We successfully celebrated the first of January!  We shall crash and begin the process of putting up Christmas tomorrow.  First, we will go to the hospital at noon so I can have the bronchial scope procedure done and find out why the cough!

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T-1 Has Arrived! 2025 Will Be Here In An Hour!

Posted on Tuesday, December 31, 2024 by Paul

Visit Our New Year’s Web Site!!

I was up at 6:00 am and went to the office, attempting to stay quiet so Mary could get her beauty sleep!  (She does NOT need it, but I offer the option anyway)

Around 7:45 am, I intently watched the US Navy Channel on YouTube when I spotted a shadow across my keyboard.  It was an angel bringing me some hot tea!

We decided to do nothing strenuous today since we must be ready for tonight’s wild party. The “kids” (Bob and Robin) are coming over around 3:30 p.m., and we will break open a boggle of bubbly to get things started.

We planned to arrive at the Elks at 5:45 pm—because nothing says “we love punctuality,” like showing up just in time for the dinner rush! Why strive to be fashionably late when you can be hilariously early? Imagine us making a slow-motion sprint through the parking lot like we’re in an action movie—“Elk-caption: The Fast and the Furious Edition!”

We’ll have 24 friends and family with us this evening, and we’re hoping to recreate last year’s epic saga! You know, the one where Uncle Bob Zaitz tried to prove he could still do a backflip and ended up embracing the lawn like it was a long-lost friend? Here’s to more questionable dance moves, burnt offerings from the grill, and games so competitive that we might need referees! Let the fun (and the chaos) begin!

We had a wonderful time last year and will repeat that feeling this year, too!

I was thinking about my resolutions, and I have several.  Remember: A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other!

  1. Stop blaming my farts on the dog.
  2. Stop using the Treadmill used as a clothes hanger.
  3. I resolve to make resolutions I can keep.
  4. Create a detective agency for lost socks: Solve the mystery of where missing socks go after laundry day.
  5. Tell the doctor the truth when they ask how many drinks – alcoholic or caffeinated – you have in a month.
  6. Lose weight by inventing an anti-gravity machine.

We kicked off the celebration like a bunch of kids at a candy store, then wobbled our way to the Elks, convinced that if the food couldn’t be as fancy as our pre-party, we’d just bring the confetti!

One for the road!!

We had our chauffeur pick us up! He was dressed for the evening like he was about to win a Best Supporting Actor award at the Oscars! I half expected him to hand us tiny golden statues instead of our luggage!

Low-cost Uber!

We arrived right on time, and the girls were ready to party!!

Dang…. They stole all the colors from around them!!

We had a table full of folks enjoying the evening—24 in all! It was like a family reunion, except nobody was arguing about who brought the bad potato salad. Instead, we were just debating whether pineapple belongs on pizza or if that’s a crime against humanity! Who knew 24 people could fit around a table and still have enough elbow room for all the desserts? We made sure to leave plenty of space for our jokes about the “endless buffet” of spicy opinions.

It’s a fantastic group!

And on the other side of the table…

We are ready to rock and roll!!

We danced, ate, giggled, and had a load of fun all evening long!  I was blessed to have Mary right next to me, and we had a fantastic time together.  I led a Conga Line that had twenty people in it!

Fun is a four-letter word!

We laughed so hard that my stomach almost staged a rebellion. We giggled like we were auditioning for a comedy show, danced like no one was watching (but the neighboring table was), and ate until we resembled stuffed sausages! It was a wild night of fun and food, and our dance moves were more “wobble” than “waltz” as the clock ticked past a ridiculously late hour!

Bob is looking good!

Good night, all!  We are heading home! Buckle up, folks—it’s time for the world’s slowest race against the couch and snacks!

Love is in the air!

We headed home around 10:00 p.m. as the music slid into the 1990s. It was like someone hit the “no dance” button! We looked like confused penguins trying to bust a move, shuffling awkwardly while dreaming of our favorite early 2000s jams. Next time, we’re bringing a time machine!

Great fun with wonderful friends!

 

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