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I give thanks every day for my life with Dr. Mary; my “problems” are minuscule!
It’s NOT a great day when you wake up and cannot have coffee! Not even a scone, a donut, or anything else. I am fasting, which means looking at food and drink with deep emotional attachment but without any physical contact.
Fasting before a surgical operation is mainly to reduce the risk of aspiration.
When you’re under anesthesia or heavy sedation, your normal protective reflexes—like coughing, swallowing, and keeping stomach contents down—are reduced. If there is food or liquid in your stomach, you could vomit or regurgitate it and accidentally breathe it into your lungs. This can cause serious complications, such as aspiration pneumonia, airway blockage, or lung injury. Fasting also helps:
• Reduce nausea and vomiting after anesthesia
• Make anesthesia safer and easier to manage
• Lower the chance of needing emergency airway interventions
Typical instructions often include no solid food for several hours before surgery, while some clear liquids may be allowed up to a shorter time beforehand—but the exact rules vary depending on the procedure, your health, and the type of anesthesia.
We worked in the office until 9:00 am, then got ready to go to the hospital.
I drove, knowing full well that Mary would be driving home!
Off we went at 11:15 am and arrived at 11:45 am, because apparently we were running a highly efficient medical shuttle service that day. As we pulled into the parking lot, there was Robin—right on cue—ready to be Mary’s loyal sidekick, emotional support human, and all-day entertainment committee.
Within minutes, I was whisked into Pre-Op by the transportation officer, where I immediately began my important work: relentlessly teasing the nurse.
As we skidded down the hallway, I made automobile sounds and honked my horn at everything coming my way. When she asked my name, she did not believe it was Clem Kadiddlehopper! She may have thought she was there to prepare me for surgery, but surprise—she had unknowingly enrolled in my masterclass.
I am ready to go into the OR!
Then it was off to the OR, where I was technically “awake” the entire time—though I use that term loosely, since I was operating at about 12% battery and had no Wi-Fi.
I even chatted with the doctor while he examined me using the catheter, because apparently, I decided this was the perfect time for casual conversation. Nothing says “small talk” quite like discussing your insides while someone is actively navigating them.
The procedure lasted about 30 minutes, and then I was moved to post-op recovery, where I enjoyed a luxurious 6-hour stay in what I can only describe as a very exclusive medical waiting room with terrible amenities.
Finally, around 7:30 pm, they decided I had behaved well enough to be released back into society.
I closed my eyes when the procedure began and saw an angel in the room watching over me! I am a lucky man!
Keeping me from misbehaving — only an Angel can do that!
This procedure required entrance through the groin, and that entry point tends to leak after the operation. The nursing staff checked in the groin many times and after a while I needed to put a sign up stating “Groin Peeks, 25¢”, I would have made a fortune.
After a while, I asked people walking by if they wanted to see my groin. Mary put a stop to that activity, saying that when I offered a “groin peek” to a cafeteria worker, janitor, and another patient, that was too much!
Six hours flat on my back, only being disturbed by “peeping Toms”.
I had other thoughts also!
For hours, Robin and Mary were by my side in recovery; I never felt so loved and cared for. I think I’m spoiled!
We made it home and watched “Little Women”, the 2019 version. We made it until 11:00 pm, and then our eyes began to close. Time to go to bed! Off we went, and we slept until almost 7:30 am!
