Estimated reading time: 6 minutes

Never On Sunday!

Another day in the garden.

“No, no, I screamed, please, not a walk in the garden!” My dramatic pleas were ignored entirely. Alas, another walk in the garden (translation: build a list of all the things that must be accomplished today)! Such is the life of a reluctant gardener.)

It’s not so much reluctance as the fact that my body is not forty years old anymore. My sores have even started complaining about having sores of their own.

After the ten-minute walk, we decided the last of the sweet peas must go, and we had to replace two plants because that damned rabbit ate our brand-new zucchini and cantaloupe.

Help Daddy Paul and Moma Mary save us from the Wascally Wabbit.

Amazon to the rescue. Animals instinctively avoid certain smells and tastes. Urine from mammal predators, meat protein, egg solids, and garlic all possess sulfur-containing compounds that trigger prey-response behaviors. Putrescent egg solids and garlic, both ingredients in Liquid Fence Deer & Rabbit Repellents, are highly effective in deterring these animals before they even browse treated vegetation.

Let me jot this down for you: “If this doesn’t work, I’ll sleep in the shed with my trusty Red Rider Single Shot BB Gun! It’s my secret weapon for dealing with stubborn problems.”

Please work; the Shed is cold!

We worked from 11:00 am until 6:00 pm in the garden and yard.  We planted, trimmed, mulched, abbreviated, clipped, cropped, edged, margined, mowed, nipped, overwhelmed,  scattered, and shortened everything in the garden and yard.

The sweet peas had to go.  They were pooping out, plus powdery mildew was getting the best of the greenery.

The back forty sweet peas are gone, filling almost a 90-gallon container.

Tomatoes grow, and they tend to lose their bottom leaves, which turn yellow and invite pests to have a meal. Mary and I meticulously went through each tomato plant and removed the Bad branches, so everything is now green again! Bye-bye bugs!

We spend several hours cleaning out the tomatoes.

We had a small breakfast and then returned to the yard, removing the sweet peas to see how much room there was underneath the brush. OMG, we found two more large Mexican zucchinis that were invisible from the top!

We did a super-secret spy mission to Home Depot. We successfully acquired the top-secret hoses needed to connect the super-powered rotary garden and Ophelia (who may or may not be a very sophisticated robot) to the top-secret timer on the side of the house. Mission accomplished!

Home Depot, our favorite store, is less than three miles away!

It should be mentioned that on the way home, I whispered “burrito,” and as the sound gently floated over Mary’s side of the car, she suggested Del Taco. Well, the Silver Fox slowed to a crawl, activated its own GPS, and took us to this amazing restaurant. One burrito and three Del Tacos later, we arrived back at our passion and devoured the goodies. Now we are ready for work!

Mary worked on the patio proper while I put on my plumber’s hat and hosed up the vertical and Ophelia.

The verticals are not on a timer, and Ophelia (our rubber plant) also gets watered once a day.

We had some blight on the gardenias, so we cut them back severely and sprayed them; they are hearty!

While there, we found an apple on the ground and ate it; it was crispy and gave us an idea of what the rest would taste like in a few weeks.

We ate our first apple today, just like Adam and Eve. The snake was asleep on the patio.

We planted some new goodies, including a brand-new cantaloupe.  While in the spa a little later, we spotted the (&^%$^^&)# rabbit hopping along without a care in the world and me in the spa without my trusty BB gun!

Look at what that rabbit did WHILE we were in the yard.  NOTE: We had not put the Liquid Fence here yet; it was a chore left to post-spa activities.

Look at that; it was a healthy cantaloupe!

We are so happy the rabbit abstains from alcohol because the grapes are just a few feet away.

I must get the vat so Mary can squash the grapes while singing Italian songs.

The rabbit seems to have beef with beets.  They do not go near each other!

Oh dear, they were hidden! Borscht is on the menu soon!

Tomorrow, you are going bye-bye! The flowers are pretty, but you need a ladder to get them, and the bottom is pretty ugly!

The flowers are OK, but powdery mildew is on the lower extremities.

“One more “before” shot – it’s like a vegetable jungle here! We discovered a tomato plant trying to blend in with the sweet peas, so we’re in for some plant surgery. I’ve scheduled an appointment with Dr. Mary to perform a sweet pea ectomy, with strict orders to spare the trapped tomato. This should be quite a garden drama!”

The before view.

We went back to the patio, and both of us trimmed it. We decided to move the water feature outside for this summer and did so. While Mary prepared a glass of wine, I used the trusty hose to apply Miracle-Grow to the patio flowers.

It was past 6:00 pm when we finally sat down and gave ourselves a rest.

Pur water feature now lives on the patio.

Spa time – hooray! With plastic wine glasses in hand, we gracefully slithered toward the bubbling hot tub, dreaming of the miraculous healing powers we desperately needed. My body crackled and popped like a bowl of Rice Krispies as I inched my way forward. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any more dramatic, I spotted a ladder. Watch out, world, here we come!

We barely made it into bed, and by 8:00 pm, we were sawing logs!


About Paul

Just an old retired guy trying to finish out my last years on this planet. I lost my best friend and wife in early 2020. I was blessed again by reconnecting with Dr. Mary Côté, a long-time friend. Mary and I got married July 28th, 2021, and are enjoying life together and plan to spend the rest of our lives being a blessing to our friends and family.
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