Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
We drove for hours today!!
Today was super busy, starting with a quick garden tour and preparing for a Costa Mesa funeral at 11:00 am. We departed the celebration of left and returned home only to rest for a few minutes and then head to Colton (an hours drive) for a meeting of Mary’s Medical School graduating class. It was the class of ’79 (that’s 1979!)
I overheard one of the doctors mentioning his patient. Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. Doctor: Next time, take off the candles. It was an excellent diagnosis!
The meal was a potluck; let me tell you, it was a culinary rollercoaster! One dish tasted like it had been marinated in a secret sauce of uncertainty, while another was so good I almost proposed to it. Who knew Dr. Kim’s mystery casserole could be both delicious and slightly terrifying? It was a feast of surprises—like a pop quiz for your taste buds! The food was all vegetarian, and Mary brought cookies.
We met at a classmate’s home, a mile from the Campus.
Mickey was the emcee for the evening and did an excellent job keeping people entertained.
Dr. Ask seemed to enjoy the company!
We got to share stories and update people on each other’s lives. I was asked (even though I was NOT a graduate). I told them I had been retired for 19 years but went back to work three years, three months, and eleven days ago. They were puzzled until I mentioned that’s when Mary retired! We got a good laugh!
We all shared what has been going on recently in our lives.
The stories were interesting and represented a wide range of medical activities.
One of the people reminded us that you might be an E.R. doctor if…
- Your favorite hallucinogen is exhaustion.
- You think that caffeine should be available in IV form.
- You get an almost irresistible urge to stand and wolf your food, even in the nicest restaurants.
- You believe the waiting room should be equipped with a Valium fountain.
- You have ever had a patient look you straight in the eye and say, “I have no idea how that got stuck in there”.
- Your most common assessment question is “What changed tonight to make it an emergency after 6 (hours, days, weeks, months, years)?
Great fun, and we talked fast (so the meal would NOT get cold)
We sat next to a fellow who had just had foot surgery, and Mary got to practice her German on him!
We were reminded of what you do NOT want to hear during surgery:
- Oops!
- Has anyone seen my watch?
- That was some party last night. I can’t remember when I’ve been that drunk.
- Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Well, this book doesn’t say that… What edition is your manual?
- Ok, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- Damn, there go the lights again…
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
Mary found a friend who spoke German, and they talked a lot.
All the doctors had their pictures taken together, but half looked at the camera while the other half argued over who had the best scrubs. One doctor even tried to strike a pose like a model, only to trip over the cord of the coffee machine. Guess they should stick to healing rather than posing!
Then I heard:
Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! That’s terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.
All the doctors got together.
