Instead of giving gifts this year, I will give everyone my opinion?
Get ready for some real surprises!
Wow! Seems like last week!
Mary, my dear, “What is a Christmas tree’s favorite candy?” With great restraint, I blurted out, “Orna-mints.” Mary just mumbled, “He wakes up this way; what shall I do?”
Well, the Daily Diary must continue to be published even though Santa had done his review and I just passed by the skin of my nose. Maybe I will use the on-line dictionary.
I remember as a kid coming home to see that someone tore the front and back pages of my dictionary. It just went from bad to worse.
Santa says I must get better! I told him, “I have *Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia” and he was sorry!
At 7:59 AM this morning, I introduced Mary to one of my newest traditions, and that is to jump into the cold pool at exactly the winter solstice and do a lap. She went first screaming and yelling, and I said I follow her.
Like the amazing trophy husband I am, I did NOT jump in behind her but went into the house, got some warm clothes and blankets, and turned on the fireplace.
I missed the cold water tradition this year. As she got out, I was terrified as she was blue, but then I figured out it was her bathing suit! She would have made a great addition to the Blue Man Group!
Scout, The Wonder Dog, sat inside the whole time and just shook his head!
I was sooooooo sorry!
I did remind her that the coldest month of the year in Los Angeles is December, with an average low of 48°F and a high of 67°F.
We went to Mary’s general practice doctor located in Seal Beach and then decided Old Ranch needed a December donation, so we stopped for brunch. I am back to watching my intake, so I merely had a cup of chili and a small salad, and Mary did the soup of the day and a small salad. We were filled and ready to go! On the way out, I told Mary, “If you’ve seen one Santa, you’ve seen a mall.”
No ;ip[stoick – No picture!
We then made a stop at Imperial Jewelers because I wanted Mary to pick out her Christmas present; there are some things I am just not good at! What she selected was much better than the ant-farm I had originally planned for her!
We were in and out in a shot attempting to get home before 2:00 PM as Joe and Charlie were coming over to put up a radiant barrier in the garage.
Well, at 4:00 PM, we got a call from Joe, and Charlie was exposed to COVID-19, so I had a choice of getting the job done and staying in the house or doing it at a later time. I chose the latter.
As evidenced by the picture below, our new avocado tree bit the bullet. We bought life insurance on the tree because a) it was expensive and b) avocados are notorious for not liking to be transplanted.
RIP
We decided it was time to visit Jan and go to Home Depot, so we headed out. We had a mix-up in dinner plans and thought tomorrow was dinner with Dan and Becky. It was 5:30 PM, and we are in our grubbies, driving in the opposite direction from the restaurant.
Quickly I pulled the reins on The Silver Fox, and he did a 180-degree turn going 50 MPH; screeching tires, smoke, and a lot of yelling and screaming later, we were headed home. Like Supergirl, Mary ran into her phonebooth and came out more beautiful. On the other hand, I ducked into the dog house and came back our marginally acceptable. At 5:47 PM, The Silver Fox was barreling down the highway on our way to Corona Del Mar.
Mary snapped a picture as the sun was setting, and I was at a stop sign.
Sundown, and we are on our way!
Mary remarked that she had never seen picket fences along our route; I told her they were telephone poles!
Oh no! Say it ain’t true!!
We squealed into the valet parking with minutes to spare and raced inside, grabbing a bar seat and attempting to look calm and relaxed. The last I saw The Silver Fox was the valet putting water on the tires to cool them off.
I fastened the seat belt on the barstool and then asked the bartender, “Are people who are scared of Father Christmas Claustrophobic?” I was promptly served a tall glass of water and shown the sign saying “We reserved the right to not serve crazy old men!”
Cool and calm!
We were seated first in the upstairs room. We enjoyed a glass of wine before the kids arrived. Becky and Dan joined us soon thereafter; they took a long walk to get to the restaurant.
Mary has been going through “stuff” that her kids made or brought home from school. She has decided to send the essential items back in their direction. Becky was excited to see her sixth-grade yearbook.
Ah, Becky liked her little surprises.
Becky asked if I had wrapped the presents. I told her, “If you’ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you’ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.”
We all enjoyed a leisurely meal and laughed and giggled all evening long. Dan likes red wine but didn’t want to drink it alone, so I assisted. I told him I was dreaming of a white Christmas, but red would also be good!
Enjoying dinner with family.
On the way home, we continued our original plan and visited Jan. We shared another glass of the grape at her home, and we chatted for quite a while. I asked Jan, “Why is Santa so jolly?” She was not sure, so I told her, “It’s because he knows where all the naughty girls live.”
We did an after-dinner fly-by!
We talked about family, and I recounted the advice I gave my kids at Christmas time! I told my kids is that if you fart on Santa’s lap, he’s required by North Pole law to bring you two of everything you ask for. M-m-m-m-m, now I know why they always wanted tacos before we went shopping at the mall!
Good night all to all a good night!
? Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is one of the longest words in the dictionary — and, in an ironic twist, is the name for a fear of long words.
