Happy Anniversary!

It was four years ago today that Mary and I had our first “date”—or, as I like to call it, the quarter-century in the making. We finally upgraded from dance friends to potential lovebirds, leaving everyone in the Starlighters Dance Club wondering, “What’s happening with those two?”

It is also our third wedding anniversary, as we were married one year to the day of our first get-together.

Both events took place at Patty’s Place in Seal Beach, so, you guessed it, we are recreating that event this afternoon with our friends.

To top it off, it is our daughter’s birthday! Colleen turns ## today (the number is hidden to protect the innocent!).

Happy Birthday, dear daughter!

We called Colleen and sang her Happy Birthday. She was out with her family celebrating.

We worked in the garden for a few hours, making the first pass. The grapes went wild during the last two weeks, and we could only get around the garden beds once we filled a 100-gallon trash can with grape clippings.

The garden went wild while we were gone!

Mary surveyed the garden and decided what to do first. We picked today’s lunch from the garden and two boxes of veggies for Dianne.

The garden could be more pretty this time of year; the foliage is browning, and the branches get scraggly, but the plants are still producing.  We pulled the Swiss chard and trimmed the basil, and I unwrapped the squash as it was big enough that the bunnies would not do any damage.

It is 6:30 am, and we are already working.

The overhead trellises were loaded with more beans than a Mr. Bean movie, and the tomatoes were as eager to ripen as kids waiting for the ice cream truck!

When the sun comes out, we huddle under the trellises like vampires, avoiding a sunburn. Who knew gardening could be so dramatic?

Finally, the berry patch kicks in with a multitudinous collection of various berries.  The blackberries are the size of a thumb.  One must be careful, for if you bite into the berry, the juice can squirt. They are so juicy!

Need we say more?

It began to warm up around noon, so we returned to the house and finished washing our trip clothes. Scout, the Wonder Dog, had his favorite toy (Moosie)  and watched us empty the suitcases and make many trips to the laundry.  Scout has had that toy since he was rescued by Mary years ago.  Besides being a little worn, he never destroys his toys; Scout is an excellent baby!

We stayed glued to us all day long.

We sat in the breakfast room and folded the clothes while we watched “Suits.”  At 2:00 pm, we stopped, hit the showers, and readied everything for a 3:15 pm departure for Dianne’s to drop off the veggies and hopefully see David and proceed to Patty’s Place in Seal Beach.

I was rocking a majestic beard four years ago when Mary and I had our first dinner together. Looking back, I’m not sure if she fell in love with me or my beard that night!

Did You Know? George Francis “Gabby” Hayes was an American radio, film, and television actor. He was best known for numerous appearances in Western movies as the colorful sidekick to the leading man. Hayes was born the third of seven children in Wellsville, New York, and did not come from a cowboy background.

The table behind us is where we had our first “date.”

Three years ago, we were married at Patty’s Place!

We are enjoying life together! All I need is about seventeen years!

Jim’s beard looks excellent; I have a few more months to fill in the blank spots.

The adult supervision was kept busy this evening.

Robin and Bob came from Corona to be with us this evening.  We are fortunate to have such great kids who care about us and share.

Robin and Bob had a steak night.

Quick, Mary, before anyone notices. Everybody saw us, and I could not help myself but squeal with delight.  I had expected her to call me Gabby Hayes, but she controlled herself.

Smooooooooooch!

Donna makes her selection from the brand-new menus! Irene sees all the action from her perch at the center of the table.

Bob and Donna joined us.

Patty’s steaks are outstanding. Mary and I had the filet mignons, which were terrific, as expected.

Steak! We are talking great steaks!

We got Vicky so tickled she lit up like a Christmas tree!  We all belly laughed,  burst into laughter, cackled, chortled, chuckled, hee-hawed,  and nearly died laughing at the banter going back and forth across the table.

Someone gots the giggles.

We all wished Colleen and Mark could have been here, but they were with their family celebrating Colleen’s birthday, which was 3,000 miles away!

I love those kids.

Chip shots were flowing this evening.  Robin and Mary seem to be joined at the hip!

Ladies!

We all teased Irene about her upcoming surprise party on the 3rd of August at Casa Valencia.   Mary and I have a lot of work to do to get ready, but the real effort is being done by Chuck and Lisa, who are flying out from North Carolina to cater the shindig.

Auntie Irene is always a joy!

Too bad we had to leave, but we had a 30-minute drive home.

Everyone was heading home.

We only made it part of the way. Before heading home, we stopped at the local pub for a glass of wine and talked to the bartender, who was there alone.

The evening was beautiful, and family and friends surrounded us. May we be doing this twenty years from now!!

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Day 14 1/2 – Disembarking And Flying Home!

Love was in the air!

Finally, at 6:30 am, we got up and began the final packing activities: our carry-ons. It’s like trying to fit 15 pounds of, you know what, into a five-pound bag. After some struggle, a little force, a few hydraulic tools, and the ability to bend matter with my mind (if only), I finally managed to zip it up. It’s good that TSA didn’t require us to open the bag!

We had breakfast in the cabin and then to the concierge, who took us down to the debarking (I think of Scout every time I type that word!) area via the crew elevator.

We went through the lines without a hitch, and it was easy because we had our suitcases sent directly to the airplane, so we did not have to manhandle all eleven of Mary’s suitcases/steamer trunks.

It was a short ride to the airport!

At the airport, we had the most epic lunch with the kids. We departed like synchronized swimmers, except with luggage. It was like the grand finale of our trip, complete with a recap over sandwiches. We should start rating airport lunches; I give this one five out of five stars!

We flew to Charlotte and then changed airplanes with only a few minutes to spare. The flights were uneventful except during takeoff when Paul made airplane sounds (jet airplanes).

How she can look so good after seven hours of flying in a hollow tube is beyond me!

Always a smile!

We arrived at John Wayne at 8:15 p.m., and our daughter Robin was waiting for us. We loaded up and headed home! Robin had plans for tomorrow morning, so she went home.

Mary texted the kids to let them know we were home safe. She also added, “No need to send out the search party this time!”

Scout required formal introductions before going out with Daddy to prepare for bed!

Wow, what a trip! We kissed, and then both of us went out like a light! Love really is exhausting!

 

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Day 14 – Ft. Lauderdale, Here We Come!

We woke up early and eagerly sipped our coffee.  Mary switched on Fox News to catch up on the latest events while I wrapped up yesterday’s Daily Diary, which allowed me to relive the day!

While watching the daily cruise show, we learned about a galley tour, so we got gussied up and headed to the theater at 10:00 am to join in.

The cooking show was TERRIFIC.  The head chef and the head of food and beverage services did the demo.  It was funny, especially when the pasta flew directly in the air and landed all over the stage.  We learned a few tricks along the way!

They could have been Laurel and Hardy!

We entered the kitchen, and it was spotless!

Mary now wants to redesign our kitchen!

They displayed 100 different potato dishes, each more interesting than the last!

Each one was named and quite beautiful.

Now we know there are at least two surgeons on board.

Scalpel.

Look at the cakes celebrating the Olympics.

These delights disappeared in seconds when they went to the trough.

Check out the details on these treats!

The cooks have exceptional skills!

Who would have thought that it takes almost 400 people working in and around the kitchen to satisfy the appetites of nearly 5,000 hungry folks three times a day?  That’s a whole lot of meals and a whole lot of teamwork!

While doing the kitchen tour, we stumbled upon the kids and bumped into them again upstairs.  We ended up dining in the trough, and boy, it was a wild ride of culinary diversity.  I bailed on the burgers and made a beeline for the Indian meals.  Who knew a cafeteria could be so entertaining?

The pastry chef made 500 of these opening-day cupcakes.

After munching on a hearty lunch, Colleen and Mary sauntered over to the photo office to pick out their larger-than-life 8x10s.

The clouds were an added attraction.

We had twelve photos to print and made our selections with Colleen’s help.

Decisions decisions.

Dinner at the fish house was again quite impressive.  The Catch is a six-star restaurant that has received outstanding help.

This evening, we celebrate Colleen’s birthday and our anniversary at the Catch.  The seafood restaurant is FIRST-CLASS, and the waitstaff is fantastic.  Stephan drew the short straw and got us again, although he might call in sick once he saw the list of patrons this evening.  I hope he’s ready for our rowdy gang—we’re bringing out all the dad jokes and embarrassing stories tonight!

On a serious note, we are a little afraid they will recognize Mark this evening.  Mark was asked to leave the restaurant three days ago when he kept referring to the oysters as “Sea Boogers.” I was also asked to leave because I laughed so hard that I fell out of my chair, spilled my champagne, passed gas (to the tune of Love Boat), and gave the old lady at the next table palpitations.

I asked Mark how he learned to call Oysters by that name.  He said he and Colleen go to a discount seafood restaurant in their hometown and overheard the manager correcting an employee.

Colleen and Mark were surprised when a Birthday Cake came out, but we were in a hurry, so we had it sent to their room!!!  Mary got roses for our anniversary!

After stuffing our faces at dinner, we waddled over to the production show, where the performers were putting on their last hurrah for this trip.  Surprisingly, it was not terrible!

We then departed for the comic show and we had a miracle, Mark smiled.

Caught him with a smile.  (OMG, he has teeth!)

We said bye to the kids and headed to our cabin for some last-minute packing.  When we arrived, the kids had already put out our baggage, organized our papers, and otherwise cared for the old folks!

The trip’s purpose was to get to know the kids, and we certainly accomplished that goal.  It’s nice to see two people so in love with each other.  They are a loving couple who enjoy each other’s company and laugh and giggle a lot like us.

We dash off the boat tomorrow and head home to see Aunt Irene and Scout the Wonder Dog.

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Day 13 – Amber Cove In The Dominican Republic!

It should be illegal to look this cute in the morning.

The Energizer Bunny was already up and hopping at 6:15 am, buzzing around the cabin like a bunny on a mission, getting all revved up for a trip to the tourist traps!

Located in the province of Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic’s north coast region, Amber Cove merges historic colonial architecture with the modern, contemporary amenities of the greatest ports in the world.  It encompasses 30 acres of waterfront property and will feature a welcome center with a myriad of retail and entertainment options.

But first, we had our morning coffee.  We looked out the window, and to our amazement, we saw a Carnival ship complete with a rollercoaster running around the top decks.  We did a double-take and wondered if we had accidentally mixed our coffee with something stronger!  Oh my, talk about a wake-up call!

Quick, close the windows!

Coffee got our collective hearts started, and then it was time for the torture chamber.  We headed to deck 17-aft and shuttered at the signage.  It said “Fitness Center”; I was not having a fit, and neither was Mary.

We tippy-toed into the chamber full of physical abuse machines.

We selected the horizontal bikes and began peddling like there was no tomorrow.  After a few minutes, smoke started pouring out of the machines, and the fire alarm went off.

We coming in on a wing and a prayer!

The crew sprang into action like they were competing in a water fight!  They made the fire disappear and then kindly asked us NOT to grace them with our presence again!

We peeked at our watches and had a sudden epiphany – it’s been a whole two hours since our last meal!  So we high-tailed it to the 6th floor and stormed the Grille for some much-needed breakfast action.

Mary ordered breakfast; I had a dried piece of day-old toast and Crisco.

For breakfast, I really outdid myself.  I indulged in the extravagance of two whole pieces of dry toast.  I know, don’t be too envious of my lavish lifestyle.

Now we get cleaned up and head for the shore to visit the Dominican Republic.

Today, we all decided not to go on tour.  We needed a day to recover from the past two days!  We took our wallets and walked off the boat to visit the latest tourist trap in the Caribbean: Amber Cive, complete with trinkets priced at $10 and labeled “Made In China.”

Puerto Plata is on the north of the island.   

On the bright side, it was clean, and the stores were air-conditioned, but no bargains were to be had.

Amber Cove in Spanish translates to Tourist Trap!

We walked through many stores, and Mary attempted to bargain with them, but she would not pay $20 for a $5 item!

Mary is on the right!

The ships were close by, making it easy to return to civilization.

Because of the heat, we took the bicycle carts; good use of $10!!

We returned to the ship and decided the breakfast was enough to hold us until dinner.  When our ship pulled out, the destination became deserted.

The port is brand new and easy to get to land.

Before dinner, we had to get ready for the evening.  It was the last formal evening, and the kids made a special arrangement with the portrait studio to take us out on deck after dinner and (NO, not walk the plank!) take formal pictures of us and the sunset.

Formal picture = hair parlor visit required (female);  Formal dinner = beer required (male).  I got dressed up and headed to the piazza to listen to the big band music and drink wine.

We figured we should fuel up at the Capri dining room before facing the flashbulbs with our best smiles.  Even with a full meal order, dinner zoomed in and out faster than a race car at mealtime.

We were the first to arrive.

We enjoy dining with the kids and sharing memories.

Dinner was terrific, and we hurried to the photo office at 6:30 pm. e walked around the ship with the photographer, snapping pictures at many different locations.

Looking good!

After the photo shoot, we stopped at the Grill Bar, had a drink, and danced to the artists playing dual violins.   The bar patrons gave us a standing ovation.

Time to dance!

From there, we hit up the comedy show, and let me tell you, it was epic! We were cracking up so hard; I think a few tears were shed!

Then, to finish off the evening, we went to the production show, which was interesting.

I was about “gaming,” but it left us puzzled.

We would have usually gone out for a drink, but we ended up in our cabin tonight, probably because we needed a break from spilling drinks on ourselves!  On the way up in the elevator, the kids got off and headed to after-hours entertainment. Where do they get all that energy?

We attempted to watch a movie, but halfway through, we nodded off and tumbled into a slumber.   Tomorrow marks our final day aboard this floating palace, so we must ready ourselves for the daunting task of suitcasery and the grand art of getting everything to behave itself.

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Day 12 – Grand Turk Island!

Mary got up early today!

We were staring out the window, and to our surprise, the world outside was still zipping by!  We won’t grace our destination with our presence until 1:00 pm today.  Our grand adventure takes us to Grand Turk.  How grand is that?

Did You Know?  The name Grand Turk Island comes from the Turk’s head cactus (Melocactus intortus) that Christopher Columbus saw growing there in 1492 during his first voyage to the New World.  The cactus’s red top resembles a fez, which Turks wore in the late Ottoman Empire.

Grand Turk is an island in the Turks and Caicos Islands, a British Overseas Territory in the Lucayan Archipelago of the Atlantic Ocean.  It’s located in the West Indies, north of Hispaniola, between the Dominican Republic and the Bahamas, and about 575 miles southeast of Miami, Florida:

Remember: Eat, sleep, cruise, repeat.

Population: 4,500 people; The temperature was in the 80s

Cozy!!

Grand Turk Island is the capital of the Turks and Caicos archipelago in the Atlantic Ocean.  It’s dotted with the remains of salt ponds and windmills from the island’s sea salt industry, which flourished from the 17th to 20th century.  The 19th-century Grand Turk Lighthouse is perched on a rocky bluff in the north.  Beaches with clear water ring the island, home to wild horses and donkeys.

We hit the gym and hopped on those stationary bikes, pretending we were in the Tour de France, racing around those corners like a swarm of angry bees was chasing us!

Lookout, world, here we come!

After the exercise, we headed to breakfast to refill the lost calories!  My, what a breakfast.  We both had a good BM (Bloody Mary), which at our age is a good thing.  BMs are healthy as they are full of vegetables and alcohol.  If we get stranded on a desert island and it is freezing, we will stay warm.

Decisions decisions.

As I was scanning the iPhone, it said, “Remember this?”  Indeed I did!  We were on the Wine Train going to Santa Barbara many years ago.

Having fun together for years, these images were from nine years ago today.

We returned to our cabin via the shops.  We did learn from the kids that we signed up to have our baggage go directly to the airplane, so we did NOT have to lug everything around in the airport!  It’s like magic.  (The kids found out about this; they are already seasoned cruisers) They should have been suspicious when I requested eighteen baggage tags.  I will carry my gunny sack.

We stumbled upon the kids playing trivia, so we thought, “Why not?” We joined in and promptly realized that our collective knowledge was somewhat lacking when we only managed to get eleven out of twenty questions right.  At least we had a good laugh about it!

We helped with the answers and then decided to prepare for the snorkeling adventure.  We moved right into the beach area and walked off the ship.  We were going to go shopping for a UV shirt for Mary.

We have arrived!

We could not be closer to the beach!

We strolled off the ship like we owned the place!  The gentle breeze gave us a break from the scorching heat, but only just.

It was a short walk to the shops.

We got a big welcome!  The port was full of restaurants and, of course, shops!  Mary got her UV protection shirt, so we are good to go.

A large sign welcomed us.

Who did we run into?  Our kids were on land shopping like mad (remember, Colleen and Mark are the grandparents of four!)

Grand Turk played an essential role in the early space programs as the space capsules used to land near Grand Turk.  We stopped and visited the display.

The Mercury astronauts are featured.

I was struck by the meticulous and engaging presentation of the space program exhibit.  The attention to detail and depth of information were truly impressive, making it a memorable part of the overall experience.

An emergency landing could have been made on the Space Shuttle if necessary.was also a potential

We made a brilliant decision to take the kids to Margaritaville for lunch.  It was an absolute blast!

We all had hamburgers in paradise to honor Jilly Buffett!

Mark ran back to the ship to get some goodies for the dive that they had forgotten when heading out.

Decisions decisions!

The Old Man And The Sea was pontificating this lunchtime.  My UV protection shirt Mary got me worked pretty well.  Mary does take good care of me.  I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.  When I was a boy, the Dead Sea was sick only.

Handsome devil!

We overindulged in food and drinks and had to roll out of there to make it on time for snorkeling.  It was a hilarious sight seeing us waddle our way to the ocean after that feast—it looked like a herd of ducks!

Let’s go snorkeling

Now we walk to the boats carrying us to the snorkeling boats.  After a relatively long walk through the beach sand, I was huffing and puffing when we arrived.  We hopped on the boat and sped off for a fifteen-minute trip to the island’s reefs.

Everyone suited up, but I decided to stay onboard because my sciatica was acting up, and paddling around in the ocean currents would have been difficult.  I stayed dry and did elbow exercises.

The woman is like a fish and loves to snorkel.

Mark and Mary hit the water and headed out to the reef.  They looked like a pair of speed boats!

Colleen took it slower, making sure her personal snorkeling equipment was adequately assembled.  I was a slightly worried about her diving bell made from a gallon milk container.

“Wait for me, wait for me, or please wait for me!”

The yellow-horned fish is a scary sight.  Today, she got a new nickname: “Flipper.”

They spent 40 minutes in the water splashing around.

We had two boatloads of folks in the water exploring the reefs and frightening the little fishies.

It looked like someone unloaded a bag of yellow rubber ducks into the water.

After recording, the captain sailed about a mile toward a sandy island.  We jumped off without the snorkeling equipment and played with the rays.  One ray was very friendly and he (or she) posed for many shots.

The water was choppy, and I was wobbling all over the place!

Mary keeps me upright!  It looks like Beauty and the Beast (the Beast is on the right)

The fish was indeed French; I got a little tongue!

Mary made a friend.  He was indeed French!

It was 7:00 pm when we sprinted away from the grasps of the Manta Rays and raced to the awaiting ship, which couldn’t sail without us at the scheduled 7:30 pm pre-planned departure time (the brochure said they would wait for us, but we know brochures lie!).  We were moving faster than a seagull eyeing someone’s fish and chips!

“Wait for us!!”

After a long walk in the sand, we arrived on board at 7:27 pm to the applause of many passengers and crew.

As we reached the elevators, he heard the side door slam shut, the whistle blew, and they played the Theme From Love Boat.  We were moving before we got to the 14th floor.

We were hurrying along as fast as our little legs would carry us!

We are off to our cabin to shower and remove the salt from our clothes.  We washed off the salt to avoid being mistaken for walking snacks.  That could be dangerous around the buffet at dinner time!

The shore looked like a diamond necklace.

Then we rounded up the little ones at the Irish bar for family-friendly fun and eventually herded everyone to the trough for a hearty dinner.

We sat around looking at each other, waiting for the first person to admit defeat and want to return home. Being the “head of the family” (no bathroom comments from the peanut gallery), I suggested we turn in for the night. Instantly, a rousing applause began, and everyone followed suit.  It was a mad rush to the elevators.

The kids bought the old man a giant ice cream sundae, which Mark delivered to the room. I wished he had not been wearing his pink thong; it frightened our cabin steward.  As Mark sashayed down the aisle, I heard wolf whistles from all the ladies and a couple of the gents!

I took two bites, and my body gave out—I was completely out of gas!

I made a decision.  I shall only allow the kids to address me as:  elder, sage, veteran, patriarch/ matriarch, senior, time-honored individual, golden ager, wisdom bearer, seasoned soul, and grand elder!

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Day 11 – We Walked In San Juan (All Day)

At the crack of dawn, precisely 6:30, my eyes creaked open. I stealthily tip-toed out of bed, leaving Her Majesty, the queen of snoring, peacefully serenading the neighborhood with her comical symphony of sounds.

I sorted out the last of last night’s photos and finished off the Daily Diary for today. We needed to be rested for the all-day walk of San Juan. To be prepared, I looked up the emergency number in San Juan, and it is Nine-Juan-Juan!

Breakfast finally showed up, and we awkwardly nibbled at the random bits while juggling showering and loading up for the journey. It was a chaotic scene, with toast crumbs flying and shampoo bottles dodging oranges.

Once we got on the pier, Mary notified me it was a walking tour (NOT a cooking class) and I should be prepared for any eventuality.

Welcome to the walk from Hell!!!

The fort in on the hill, we are on the hill, we had to walk up 66,543,45 stairs from the ship to arrive on that derned hill.  My first clue about it being high was the man selling oxygen on the corner at $4/puff.  My tennis shoes had melted onto the cobblestone streets due to the excessive heat (M-m-m-m-m-m, is 98 degrees excessive?)

Castillo San Felipe del Morro (also known as “El Morro”), perhaps the most iconic fortification built by the Spanish in the Americas, covers a 14,000 foot-high promontory at the entrance to the Bay of San Juan.  (OK, I added a few zeros).

I said a prayer at the next church, thanking HIM for not having Mary check the “see the forts” box on the brochure.

The first thing I nituced were the cobblestone streets and their peculiar blue-gray color. They serve as the first indicator of olden-day pavements, as the bricks were imported from Liverpool, England. Before they were implemented in 1883 and 1890, the streets of Old San Juan were paved by river stones.

Amazing, 150 years old and still working well!

Can you believe it? We actually visited a church of all places! We even ventured down into the crypt where it was surprisingly cool. I was almost tempted to set up camp and spend the rest of the day there!

Mary captured the moment.

We walked and walked and walked and walked!  The street were a bit narrow but we managed to stay on the sidewalk and not get run over.  Apparently, the neighborhood decided to embrace the rainbow color palette and now it looks like a giant, colorful patchwork quilt. It’s like the whole street is competing in a ‘who-can-have-the-wildest-house’ contest. I guess the upside is that no one will ever forget where they live!

Remember, according to the law, you are not allowed to paint your house or establishment the same color as your neighbor’s house or establishment.

Go girl!

We finally stopped for a while and did some “cooking”.  OK, not really cooking but we learned a few things.  First, we made a real Majito.

Havana, Cuba, is the birthplace of the mojito, although its exact origin is a subject of debate. It was known that the native people had remedies for various tropical illnesses, so a small boarding party went ashore on Cuba and came back with ingredients for an effective medicine.

After the majito, we made Mafongo.  Mofongo is a popular Caribbean dish that originated in Puerto Rico. It is made from fried green plantains, seasoned with garlic, fat (olive oil, butter, or lard) and pork cracklings, then mashed. Mofongo is usually served with a fried meat and a chicken broth soup.

The Mofongo was absolutely delicious and easy to make!

I mashed the potato flatter than a pancake! After beating it to death, it formed a bowl!

We mashed the casaba melon into a thick paste and then the cup was filled with pork and chicken; yummy!!

Sergio was a great leader for the activity.  He not only spoke perfect English but had a killer sense of humor! We tossed some chicken pieces and pork rind into the bowl, and voila! Mofongo magic happened.

He had cooked the chicken elsewhere in the restaurant, then brought it into the room and added it to the bowl.

We had a blast cooking up the grub and sipping on the fancy drinks.

We were having so much fun!

You can find motar and pestles made of stone, like granite or marble, or other materials like ceramic or wood. Mortar and pestles are great tools to mix, grind, smash, pulverize, and pound both wet and dry ingredients. A mortar and pestle are among the oldest tools, and they’re not limited to the kitchen.

These are all mahogany.

The bell rang, the whip snapped, and our fearless leader dramatically declared it was time to march on into the wilds of San Juan. After what felt like an eternity, we finally got to take a seat. Thank goodness for the wind today, because without that breeze, we would have turned into human puddles.

Mary had a little friend; he was kind of a birdbrain.

He kept chirping disparaging remarks in her ear about her hairdo!

Little did the bird know that Dr. Mary could carve him up with surgical precision.

Mr. Birdbrain got bery quiet.

Time to walk some more!  We saw another church and thank goodness it was closed.  It was built in the 1700s and was on the top of the fort wall.

The sanctuary was built in honor of a rider who lost control of his horse along Calle del Cristo during a fiesta. Plunging off the top of the stone wall onto the cliffs below, the rider was said to have miraculously survived. Over the years, faithful Puerto Ricans have flocked to the chapel to pray for miracle cures and leave milagros, tiny silver charms representing parts of the body, at its altar.

MAry suggested I leave part of my body there but after her suggestion, I quickly ran the other direction.

Built because of an accident?

The view from the fort wall was amazing and it gave the defenders an unparalleled view of any attackers coming in their direction.  For many years, no house or business could be more than one story so that the three major forts in the city had a view to the bay without any obstructions.

Let the cannon balls fly!

When the tour guide set us free at the harbor, we made our way to the ship without causing any chaos. Our quest for essentials led us to Walgreens, but upon seeing the line that twisted and turned like a confused snake inside the store, we decided to walk  out and take our business elsewhere.

Inside the boarding area it was cool and we just walked right on board but only after I requested an entire body cavity search.  My request was turned down – several times.

We headed to the first bar we saw!

After taking 7,500 steps around the city, we realized our dire need for some liquid courage. So, we plopped down at the bar and chugged down a greyhound faster than you can say “are we there yet?” I’m pretty sure we set a world record for the fastest greyhound consumption.

We returned to our room and watched the end of a science fiction movie before getting ready for dinner at The Catch!

Mary’s eyes were glue to the display as we walked in.   Little did she know the crabs served a purpose!

These turned out to be serving bowls.

I ordered fish soup (Bouillabaisse)  and it cam in a crab bowl!  Bouillabaisse is a Provençal fish soup with a tomato base. While there’s no strict formula, this hearty seafood soup can contain a wide variety of different types of seafood and shellfish. Flaky white fish: Any one of these or a combination — cod, red snapper, sea bass, haddock, porgy, mullet or grouper.

Someone took picture of me wearing the bowl on my head but the image has NOT popped up yet on Facebook.

Boulebase inside!

Stephan, our waiter from Serbia, was so hilariously funny that he made our dinner truly delightful. I went a bit wild and ordered oysters on the half-shell and some ridiculously expensive caviar.

To top it off, Stephan suggested we wash it all down with vodka shooters. As it turns out, he was absolutely right. Cheers to a memorable (and slightly blurry) dining experience!

Stephan was amazing doing surgery Dover Soul.

This fish was now deboned.  Of source I suggested Mary keep the bone and use it to keep her hair under control on windy days (the birdbrain would have agreed with me!)

He operated with surgical precision.

The four of us lauged and giggled all night long and I think we drove the next table away when I attempted to flambeé  the bones using the remains of by woodka (Stephan’s pronunciation).

Down the hatch!

We startled the kids by saying we we were going to crash.  They now know we are human and that aliens did not enter our bodies after last night’s soiree into the night life aboard ship.

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Day 10 – Sailing South East Toward Puerto Rico

A day at sea is always pleasant.

It’s morning and we were feeling the laziness levels hitting maximum capacity, and we didn’t emerge from our comfy cave until a glorious 8:00 am when our breakfast made a heroic appearance.

After a cinematic masterpiece on TV and a thorough scrubbing session, we finally left our cabin around 9:00 am to grace the concierge with our presence for breakfast #2.

As for the kids, well, we released them into the wild to fend for themselves!

I spent the day diligently chronicling the mundane events of my life in the daily diary while Mary pursued her thrilling hobby of needlepoint.

The thinking cap was working overtime!

Our midday adventure involved moseying to the trough for a hearty lunch, after which we retreated to the cabin for a riveting movie marathon.  It was an action-packed day of absolute relaxation!

At 5:00 p.m., we began getting ready for dinner, which is a formal affair this evening. We wanted to go out early and get a couple of formal pictures taken, but we dilly-dallied and did not exit the cabin until 4:54 p.m. when we had to run to the 6th floor and the dining room.

Busy hands are a good thing!

When she smiles, the whole world smiles with her… and then everyone awkwardly waits to see if she is smiling at them or just at the person behind them!

I love that smile!

We sat down at 5:30 pm exactly.  We beat the kids to the table, but they said they were waiting for us on the other side of the dining room!  Sure!

Here they come!

They spilled the tea on their day, and let me tell you, they were busier than a cat in a room full of rocking chairs, attending more events than a kid in a candy store!  They made us tired just listening to their activities.  It is too bad that youth is wasted on the young!

We are ready for many laughs now that the kids have arrived.

We planned the evening, and it began with some additional formal pictures! We saw the champagne tree and just had to get a snap!

I was in a state of shock thing I had just died and went to heaven; a champagne waterfall just for us.

The waiter looked distressed when I asked for the waterfall to be delivered to our cabin!

After destroying the lenses on several cameras, we went to O’Malleys and had a smidgeon of alcohol while we pounded the table to their latest tunes.

We called Becky and wished her a happy birthday; the four of us sang happy birthday, but the Lord only knew what it sounded like in Arizona against the backdrop of wild Irish music.

Happy Birthday, Becky!

The pirate gave a toast to start the evening (BTW, she was drinking Diet Coke!)

They kept playing, and we kept clapping and yelling the lyrics. The artists came to our table, looked me in the eye, and had the nerve to ask if that was me singing or if I was stepping on a cat.

Wonderful music made everyone Irish this evening.

Mark looked up the lyrics online and belted them out like a rockstar! We were all impressed and a little deaf afterward!

Remind us; we have to take his phone away next time!

Time to head to the bow and the Vista Lounge for some hilarious routines.  We again sat in the front row and heckled the comedian; we took it in stride.

After the show, the kids were pooped out, and we just got started. We returned to O’Malleys for an hour before going to our cabin for the evening.

The journey to the top of the ship and our cabin was fraught with misadventures, beginning with attempting to find a restroom as the wine was beginning to work…quite well. Typically, restrooms are everywhere, but they were all relocated somewhere tonight!  We must have looked funny walking cross-legged down the halls.

Then we got on an elevator, which previously must have had a nasty little kid in it because EVERY FLOOR WAS PRESSED.  We had to go from the 5th to the 14th floor, and it felt like we were on a sightseeing tour of each floor. I half expected a tour guide to pop out and start sharing fun facts about every level! I will find that little kid and break his fingers!

Then we had to walk the ship’s length as our cabin was toward the stern (that’s REAR for you land lubbers).

We made it just before the clock struck midnight, and our elevator turned back into a pumpkin!  It was a close call!

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Day 9 – The Princess Cay Stay All Day They Say

Today’s destination is a top-secret, exclusive Princess beach area, and we decided to be rebels and stay on board to enjoy the peace and quiet while everyone else fights for beach space.

Our suite was on the 14th floor! No diving allowed.

Look carefully, and you will see Colleen waiving.

With some help with the telephoto setting, she appeared in the crosshairs.

There is Colleen.

The kids went to the island, snorkeled, and played in the water.

The Cay appeared before us.

Our coffee arrived, and we enjoyed a leisurely morning sipping coffee and planning the day! After two cups of coffee, an egg McMuffin lookalike, and two glasses of juice, we were ready to conquer the world.

Coffee on the veranda.

First, we went off to the gym, where we put the pedal to the metal and rode the stationary bike for what felt like an eternity. We were sweating more than a glass of iced tea on a hot summer day! It was great to get moving after days of avoiding exercise like the plague. Now we’re just crossing our fingers that our workout won’t wake up our appetites because, let’s face it, our willpower is as strong as a stack of pancakes on a Sunday morning.

We rode the bikes for an hour.

We took a leisurely walk to the Elclave.

Then we walked our pet turtle.

The Enclave was on the 5th floor forward, so Mary suggested I wear a coverup so as not to upset the little children and old ladies  Then she said, “You go, Big Boy. Walk way ahead of me, way ahead of me!!”

We opened the door to The Enclave, home to Princess’ largest-ever thermal suite and a dramatic hydro-therapy pool with a cascading rain shower and therapeutic air jets. We relaxed on heated stone beds and soothing water beds.

Features include The Hammam – a Turkish-style steam bath, and from Roman times, the Caldarium –a light steam chamber infused with herbal aromas and the Laconium – a heated, dry chamber to help with purification and detoxification of the body.

Into the Enclave we went!

It was hidden from the public, which was an excellent idea!

I was prepared for this event with my red swimming suit, complete with flashing warning lights and waterproof pockets to keep my martini dry. I double-checked the trap door—it was locked!

We chose “The Enclave.”  The sign outside said, “Uglies Accepted On Sundays.”

After soaking in the water and sitting in the various steam rooms, I collapsed, and Mary brought out the camera.

Quiet!

There were four showers, each with a different temperature and scent.

Four different showers.

Mary tried all four showers and came back smelling like a florist’s shop!

Hey there, Ester Williams, eat your heart out!!

We departed the Enclave, walking like wet noodles to the alcohol refilling station to await the kids. We walked on the glass floor to the nearest bar when we decided our room was too far away.

We are taking our lives into our own hands.

The bar was like a treasure trove of drinks, and we spent a good few hours there making new friends and sampling all the concoctions.   The kids were incommunicado, so we figured we’d wait until dinner to catch up with them and hear about their day of thrilling adventures on the Cay.

We found the bar, duh!

We had dinner in the regular dining room and enjoyed a delightful meal with the kids. We made the right decision to stay on board the ship.     We feel reinvigorated and ready to go!

After dinner, we headed to the Vista Lounge to listen to a hilarious comic that kept us in stitches for 45 minutes.

Time to laugh.

It was a big mistake; we sat in the front. The comedian asked us several questions, and after hearing our unique answers, he shook his head and went to another table.

We were right up front, always a dangerous place to be!

My security camera went off during the show, showing Robin and Bob swimming at our house. Scout was the official lifeguard.

Robin and Bob went swimming.

After the show, we ran to O’Malley’s and listened to the Irish folks play a set. We tapped, clapped, and swilled another wine before retiring to the cabin.

We got real-time pictures from the Starlighter’s Dance; they had over 100 people this evening, and everybody likes a Hawaiian theme!

We went to Ireland before bedtime!

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Day 8 – Ft Lauderdale; Coming And Going

We arrived at the port at dawn and docked so smoothly that it felt like we were still at sea. When there was a knock on the door, I opened the curtains and was surprised to see that we had circled back to the spot we had left a week before. It felt like a full-circle cruise!

The Disney ship was adjacent to us, and we could hear the screaming of little kids.

Just for Robin.

Below our room, the delivery trucks were going at breakneck speeds, delivering everything imaginable to the ship before the 2:00 pm cutoff time.

Loading for another week just took a few hours.

Our concierge had a brilliant plan to sneak us off the ship and then sneak us back on to meet those sneaky US immigration regulations. We even bribed the kids to join us at 9:00 am so they could be sneaked along with us.

After returning to the cabin, we ordered drinks and played a couple of hands of Crazy-8’s before going to lunch in the dining room.  We polished off an entire tray of drinks while Papa taught the kids how to play (the luck was with me today!)

The game first appeared as Eights in the 1930s, and the name Crazy Eights dates to the 1940s, derived from the United States military designation for discharge of mentally unstable soldiers, Section 8.

After two rounds of Crazy-8’s.

Time for lunch in the Almafi Dining Room, we were last in and therefore last out; it was quiet!

Mark and I both had “Dirty Banana” drinks. Popular on many Caribbean islands, the classic dirty banana cocktail combines rum, Kahlúa, or another coffee-flavored liqueur along with banana-flavored liqueur in an icy, creamy shake. You can add chocolate syrup for a true happy hour sweet treat, or up the tropical taste with fresh pineapple.

We had lunch in the dining room.

We split up after lunch and met again at dinner time in the Princess Grille. After staying up past midnight last night, we all needed some sleep.

Dinner at the grill was great. Colleen went for broke with the filet mignon while the rest of us did the delicious lamb chops!  Lamb chops originated in 17th-century London chop houses, where individual cuts of meat were cooked for customers.

Dinner time is always fun with the kids as we learn more about each other. The purpose of the trip is being achieved!!

We caught a glimpse of the mastermind behind this incredible adventure – and what do you know, Scout and Irene were holding down the fort in the family room, glued to the TV as their lives depended on it!

Irene made this possible.

After dinner, we headed for the theater because Colleen and Mark raved about the comedian/magician.  They were right!  He was so funny we darned near wet ourselves laughing so hard.

The funny man had us in tears.

We gave him tremendous applause when he was done.

He got a sitting ovation.

On our way back to the room, we stumbled upon doors that were rocking some seriously snazzy artwork. It was like the doors were trying to show off and steal the spotlight!  This one was very interesting!

I could not have said it better!!!

We finally got our formal pictures tonight and downloaded them into the computer! Get ready for some top-class awkward prom poses and cheesy grins.

Family is a wonderful thing.

Just us.

Heading up to dance.

Time to relax!

It’s 11:00 pm and time to crash! Tomorrow we plan to stay on board as Princess Cay sounds dull.  We are going to hit the “Enclave” right after going to the gym and then to our favorite activity, lunch!!

Note to self: Bring rubber duckie!!

See you in the morning.

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Day 7 – Returning To Florida So We Can Start Part Two!

Mary opened the cabin doors to the veranda and closed it quickly.

840 miles, and we will return to our starting point.

From behind the glass, it looks amazing, but open the window, and wham, the heat and humidity hit you like a ton of bricks.

We woke up bright and early, knowing that breakfast was scheduled for 8:00 am, and then Mary and Colleen had an appointment for “facials” at 10:00 am, whatever that entails. It means I have the delightful task of staying in bed, watching TV, and conducting important scientific observations of the world outside. It’s a tough job, but someone has to do it!

The concierge called at 10:30 am and said he would rescue us and the kids from the boat, break us out of customer jail, and return us to our cabin ASAP. Yeah, we will finally be free on the ship, and we can finally do our laundry!

At 11:00 am, the captain announced a medical emergency on board. The ship would be speeding up to meet a Coast Guard helicopter to transport the patient to the nearest medical facility. Even a seemingly routine day at sea can quickly become eventful.

We bolted out of the cabin and bee-lined it to the piazza to rendezvous with the kids. Lo and behold, the towel folding contest was in full swing! It was downright mind-blowing to witness the towel-folding prowess of the crew. Who knew towels could be so entertaining!

Towel time.

Colleen got an eagle’s eye view of the activity.  She videoed the efforts so she could fold the towels for guests coming to her home.

You get great shots from above.

Before we ate, it was time to shop.  It was the last day for most of the ship.  We took advantage since we were staying on board for another adventure to the eastern Caribbean.

Time to shop.

Yeah!  She found a treasure!

She found a treasure.

We went to the “trough” for lunch, and it was surprisingly good. We scattered in different directions and returned with hilariously different meals. It was like we had all wandered into different countries instead of the same restaurant!

As we sat and munched, the Coast Guard helicopter flew by.  The helo had a two-engine prop plane circling the ship.  After three passes, the chopper picked up the patient and took off going northeast to Florida.

The chopper arrives from Key West.

Someone videoed the event and put the video on YouTube.

Lunch was finished and Mary brought out the cards; time to pay!  We did three rounds of Crazy-8’s with me being the only one not winning.  I had more cards in my hand at the end than was in the draw pile.

We played Crazy-8’s

Tummies full and resembling beached whales, we reluctantly agreed to waddle over to the Capri at 6:00 pm. We waddled back to our cabin, hoping the alarm clock would be loud enough to wake us from our food coma and get us to dinner on time.

It’s 6:00, and it is time to make the next serious decision.

At dinner time, we feared starvation but our fears were unwarranted.

Colleen knew exactly what she wanted.

All smiles.

We have so much fun being with family and each other.

Just us.

At the end of the dinner, the lights went out!  Oh dear, what now?  It was the traditional last night’s Baked Alaska Parade.

The Baked Alaska parade is a centuries-old tradition on cruise ships. Waiters carry flaming trays of the dessert around the tables in the main dining room while guests wave their napkins. The parade is a chance for the chefs and staff to show off their skills and for diners to show their appreciation.

Baked Alaska is a dessert that consists of a sponge or pound cake base with an ice cream center and a topping of meringue. The dish got its name because you’re baking something that is traditionally served cold. (Ice cream = Alaska in this metaphor.

The march of the Baked Alaska.

After dinner, we headed to the theater for the final show of this voyage.  Our Irish performers did their thing, and the whole theater clapped their hands and stomped their feet.

We went to the theater.

One of the performers did “sand animation.”  The sand performer uses sand on a flat surface made of back-lit glass. Then, the sand is arranged to let the light, depth, shadow, and density pass through and create the picture. The animator captures images, which are arranged in a sequence and played at a suitable speed, creating the illusion of motion.

Amazing sand animation.

We then went to the Vista Longe and heard the comedian, who was hilarious!  We darned near fell out of our chairs laughing.

From there, we went to the Schooner Bar, listened to music, and danced.  We met some folks from England and danced with them.  Our cavorting level was running at 98%!

Music was everywhere.

The women observed the dancing and did some enthusiastic movements; the video was unsuitable for individuals under 18, so it will be kept under wraps until the censors decide.

The ladies were into the music.

The cameras were on all night. We will have stories to tell our kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids.

Selfies!

We danced the night away.

Once the clock struck 12:30 am, we stumbled to our room to crash. The time it took us from opening the door to passing out could probably be measured in milliseconds.

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