Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
As I grew older and was given more responsibilities, I learned to love the incinerator, especially at Christmas. Feeding this beast with Christmas boxes and wrapping paper was fun, but the real thrill was cutting off branches from a “dead” tree and shoving it in the beast’s mouth! Our incinerator was named “Ol’ Smokey”.
Starting when I was 10, I had the chore of burning the trash and, at the end of the year, the tree (under Dad’s supervision). When I was 13, Dad thought I would be OK doing the deed on my own, so he left the area. Little did he know that I had a plan to put as many branches into Ol’ Smokey as possible.
I opened the incinerator door, which was already filled with flames, and rapidly placed four more dried Christmas tree branches inside. I pushed the tree limbs with care using a metal shovel. I then closed the door with a shovel, since the iron door was almost red hot.
Suddenly, I looked up, and flames were shooting out the top of ol’ Smokey about five to six feet into the air. Oh my, what have I done? The fire kept getting taller and taller, the iron door was now glowing red, and the top of the incinerator was bright red.
Using my underdeveloped pea brain, I ran for the garden hose and quickly sprayed the top of the incinerator, causing water to run down the side of the concrete from which the incinerator was built. Steam poured off the cement walls of the incinerator, making it look like I was sending smoke signals to the other neighbor kids.
I heard three quick snaps in succession and then saw the side of the incinerator with two large cracks running vertically about 18″ long and one more going right down the front of Ol’ Smokey; this would be hard to hide!
OMG, I killed the incenerator. Dad saw the smoke, steam, and flames shooting into the sky from inside the house where he was watching TV. He came running.
He asked what I was doing, and with my most innocent voice, I said, “I was in a hurry because I wanted to be in the house with you and Mom!”
Dad was no dummy, a thirteen-year-old wanting to a) be inside and b) with his parents? Nope, that never would happen.
There will be a hot time in the old town tonight!!
Ol’ Smokey kept being used after I attempted to burn down the neighborhood, but Dad’s admonishment to feed it slowly was always in the back of my mind (I was lucky Dad’s words weren’t indelibly marked on my rear end!)
We had to wrap the incinerator with steel wire to prevent it from falling apart due to the newly formed cracks. We used it for another nine months before its demise (caused by the city ordinance, not me!)
Backyard incinerators were banned in Los Angeles County on October 1, 1957, as a significant step in combating severe smog, according to the LAist and the San Bernardino Sun. This ban on residential trash burning, following public approval of municipal garbage collection, significantly reduced pollution, though it initially faced public protest.
Today the ol’ buzzard turns 81 (at 4:31 pm). Sometimes I wonder how I made it all these years doing things like filling Old Smokey with dead Christmas tree limbs.
Of course, we made our coffee and headed to the office to do paperwork, a never-ending activity. While sorting through the paperwork, Mary told me of her dream last night. It seems she and the Grinch were at a party and got carried away when the tree caught fire!
Mary and I (dressed as the Grinch) thought we saw a fire in the Christmas tree. (It was a dream!)
We had a nice breakfast, then got ready for today’s journey. I thought a lot about today being my 81st year on this planet.
First, I took Mary to her painting class, then returned home to get prepared to go to Laguna this evening. I asked Mary how the class was, and she replied, “It was for the birds.” I didn’t think of that until I saw her masterpiece.
She did it again!!
Mary was picked up promptly at 3:00 pm, and we meandered toward Laguna, hoping to miss the typically heavy traffic. We stopped at the Lumberyard for a glass of wine before heading out into the cold.
We walked for a while and looked in the windows to see what we might need. Mary found some “gottahaves” at the local stores.
It was 64 degrees, but still pleasant to walk around outside.
We walked two blocks looking into the stores. I offered to take Mary to several stores so she could buy anything she wanted. I am big-hearted that way. BTW, those stores were a) closed or b) empty. Mama didn’t raise no dummy here!
When we re-arrived at the Lumberyard, Vicky and Jim had already found a table. We laughed and giggled for the next hour!
We dined at the Lumberyard with Vicky and Jim
We swapped stories about things that never happened for the next hour!
We always enjoy swapping stories.
I decided to splurge and had a cheeseburger. But after dinner, I was serenaded by our tables and those around us with a rousing chorus of Happy Birthday. Vicky gave me (us) a bottle of alcohol infused maple syrup from her East Coast adventure.
Just us!
Someone let the secret out!
Surprise.
I did NOT share my cake with anyone, I gobbled it down!
The secret is out, I got a candle in my cake!
Before departing, Vicky used her new camera to capture the local Eskimos going out into the cold!
Heading out into the cold!
From the Lumberyard to the playhouse is about two blocks, which we walked quite easily. The play was hilarious, and at the end, the nun dressed several people in costumes and solved the mystery of the three wise men’s missing gold. Never trust the Little Drummer Boy!
The play was funny!
The entire cast came out for their well-earned applause.
The cast!
We departed for home about 8:30 pm and then watched “Landman” on Paramount+. We upgraded to the no-advertisement option to avoid the interruptions. We finally headed to the bedroom at 11:00 pm.
Mary went to sleep immediately, but I could read her dreams!
