At the crack of dawn, precisely 6:30, my eyes creaked open. I stealthily tip-toed out of bed, leaving Her Majesty, the queen of snoring, peacefully serenading the neighborhood with her comical symphony of sounds.
I sorted out the last of last night’s photos and finished off the Daily Diary for today. We needed to be rested for the all-day walk of San Juan. To be prepared, I looked up the emergency number in San Juan, and it is Nine-Juan-Juan!
Breakfast finally showed up, and we awkwardly nibbled at the random bits while juggling showering and loading up for the journey. It was a chaotic scene, with toast crumbs flying and shampoo bottles dodging oranges.
Once we got on the pier, Mary notified me it was a walking tour (NOT a cooking class) and I should be prepared for any eventuality.
Welcome to the walk from Hell!!!
The fort in on the hill, we are on the hill, we had to walk up 66,543,45 stairs from the ship to arrive on that derned hill. My first clue about it being high was the man selling oxygen on the corner at $4/puff. My tennis shoes had melted onto the cobblestone streets due to the excessive heat (M-m-m-m-m-m, is 98 degrees excessive?)
Castillo San Felipe del Morro (also known as “El Morro”), perhaps the most iconic fortification built by the Spanish in the Americas, covers a 14,000 foot-high promontory at the entrance to the Bay of San Juan. (OK, I added a few zeros).
I said a prayer at the next church, thanking HIM for not having Mary check the “see the forts” box on the brochure.
The first thing I nituced were the cobblestone streets and their peculiar blue-gray color. They serve as the first indicator of olden-day pavements, as the bricks were imported from Liverpool, England. Before they were implemented in 1883 and 1890, the streets of Old San Juan were paved by river stones.
Amazing, 150 years old and still working well!
Can you believe it? We actually visited a church of all places! We even ventured down into the crypt where it was surprisingly cool. I was almost tempted to set up camp and spend the rest of the day there!
Mary captured the moment.
We walked and walked and walked and walked! The street were a bit narrow but we managed to stay on the sidewalk and not get run over. Apparently, the neighborhood decided to embrace the rainbow color palette and now it looks like a giant, colorful patchwork quilt. It’s like the whole street is competing in a ‘who-can-have-the-wildest-house’ contest. I guess the upside is that no one will ever forget where they live!
Remember, according to the law, you are not allowed to paint your house or establishment the same color as your neighbor’s house or establishment.
Go girl!
We finally stopped for a while and did some “cooking”. OK, not really cooking but we learned a few things. First, we made a real Majito.
Havana, Cuba, is the birthplace of the mojito, although its exact origin is a subject of debate. It was known that the native people had remedies for various tropical illnesses, so a small boarding party went ashore on Cuba and came back with ingredients for an effective medicine.
After the majito, we made Mafongo. Mofongo is a popular Caribbean dish that originated in Puerto Rico. It is made from fried green plantains, seasoned with garlic, fat (olive oil, butter, or lard) and pork cracklings, then mashed. Mofongo is usually served with a fried meat and a chicken broth soup.
The Mofongo was absolutely delicious and easy to make!
I mashed the potato flatter than a pancake! After beating it to death, it formed a bowl!
We mashed the casaba melon into a thick paste and then the cup was filled with pork and chicken; yummy!!
Sergio was a great leader for the activity. He not only spoke perfect English but had a killer sense of humor! We tossed some chicken pieces and pork rind into the bowl, and voila! Mofongo magic happened.
He had cooked the chicken elsewhere in the restaurant, then brought it into the room and added it to the bowl.
We had a blast cooking up the grub and sipping on the fancy drinks.
We were having so much fun!
You can find motar and pestles made of stone, like granite or marble, or other materials like ceramic or wood. Mortar and pestles are great tools to mix, grind, smash, pulverize, and pound both wet and dry ingredients. A mortar and pestle are among the oldest tools, and they’re not limited to the kitchen.
These are all mahogany.
The bell rang, the whip snapped, and our fearless leader dramatically declared it was time to march on into the wilds of San Juan. After what felt like an eternity, we finally got to take a seat. Thank goodness for the wind today, because without that breeze, we would have turned into human puddles.
Mary had a little friend; he was kind of a birdbrain.
He kept chirping disparaging remarks in her ear about her hairdo!
Little did the bird know that Dr. Mary could carve him up with surgical precision.
Mr. Birdbrain got bery quiet.
Time to walk some more! We saw another church and thank goodness it was closed. It was built in the 1700s and was on the top of the fort wall.
The sanctuary was built in honor of a rider who lost control of his horse along Calle del Cristo during a fiesta. Plunging off the top of the stone wall onto the cliffs below, the rider was said to have miraculously survived. Over the years, faithful Puerto Ricans have flocked to the chapel to pray for miracle cures and leave milagros, tiny silver charms representing parts of the body, at its altar.
MAry suggested I leave part of my body there but after her suggestion, I quickly ran the other direction.
Built because of an accident?
The view from the fort wall was amazing and it gave the defenders an unparalleled view of any attackers coming in their direction. For many years, no house or business could be more than one story so that the three major forts in the city had a view to the bay without any obstructions.
Let the cannon balls fly!
When the tour guide set us free at the harbor, we made our way to the ship without causing any chaos. Our quest for essentials led us to Walgreens, but upon seeing the line that twisted and turned like a confused snake inside the store, we decided to walk out and take our business elsewhere.
Inside the boarding area it was cool and we just walked right on board but only after I requested an entire body cavity search. My request was turned down – several times.
We headed to the first bar we saw!
After taking 7,500 steps around the city, we realized our dire need for some liquid courage. So, we plopped down at the bar and chugged down a greyhound faster than you can say “are we there yet?” I’m pretty sure we set a world record for the fastest greyhound consumption.
We returned to our room and watched the end of a science fiction movie before getting ready for dinner at The Catch!
Mary’s eyes were glue to the display as we walked in. Little did she know the crabs served a purpose!
These turned out to be serving bowls.
I ordered fish soup (Bouillabaisse) and it cam in a crab bowl! Bouillabaisse is a Provençal fish soup with a tomato base. While there’s no strict formula, this hearty seafood soup can contain a wide variety of different types of seafood and shellfish. Flaky white fish: Any one of these or a combination — cod, red snapper, sea bass, haddock, porgy, mullet or grouper.
Someone took picture of me wearing the bowl on my head but the image has NOT popped up yet on Facebook.
Boulebase inside!
Stephan, our waiter from Serbia, was so hilariously funny that he made our dinner truly delightful. I went a bit wild and ordered oysters on the half-shell and some ridiculously expensive caviar.
To top it off, Stephan suggested we wash it all down with vodka shooters. As it turns out, he was absolutely right. Cheers to a memorable (and slightly blurry) dining experience!.
Stephan was amazing doing surgery Dover Soul.
This fish was now deboned. Of source I suggested Mary keep the bone and use it to keep her hair under control on windy days (the birdbrain would have agreed with me!)
He operated with surgical precision.
The four of us lauged and giggled all night long and I think we drove the next table away when I attempted to flambeé the bones using the remains of by woodka (Stephan’s pronunciation).
Down the hatch!
We startled the kids by saying we we were going to crash. They now know we are human and that aliens did not enter our bodies after last night’s soiree into the night life aboard ship.
