Estimated reading time: 1 minute
We are off to the Rock Pile, where we will bravely endure 90 minutes of cruel and unusual punishment. The horrors awaiting us include forced bicycling, floor exercises performed without the comfort of a mattress, lifting outrageously heavy objects, dragging ropes through a labyrinth of pulleys, and, most shocking of all, forcing our exhausted muscles to hoist entire one-pound dumbbells.
Medical experts may someday study our suffering. Historians will write of our courage. Statues may be erected in our honor… assuming we can still lift our arms afterward.
Should we survive this brutal fitness ordeal, we expect a hero’s welcome, a parade, and possibly ice cream. Until then, thoughts and prayers are appreciated.
We made it home where we went to the garden to begin planting our recent purchases.
