Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
Croak croak!
Up and at ’em! By 8:00 am, Mary and I got dressed in our battle gear—a questionable mix of workout clothes and “I promise I can run directly to the fridge” shirts—ready to fend off the dreaded personal trainers. You know, those fitness ninjas who can spot your lunge form faster than a hawk spots a mouse!
I mounted the stationary bike, ready to unleash my inner Tour de France champion. I cranked the resistance up to “what-was-I-thinking” level, and suddenly I was pedaling as if the escape route from a zombie apocalypse depended on it. I hit a magnificent 15 miles per hour—clearly, I was in the running for the subsequent Olympic cycling trials… or maybe just the local coffee shop’s “fastest rider” award!
After 5.5 miles of what I can only describe as a battle royale between my legs and my will to live—throw in a decent amount of blood, sweat, and a few tears of regret—I leaped off the bike as if I’d just won the Tour de France, ready to face JC, my personal trainer.
I always listen to JC, and last week he said I should try curls!
“Alright,” he said, looking at me like I was a slightly malfunctioning robot, “let’s hit the serious workout machinery.” I forced a chuckle, wondering what “serious” meant. Were they so heavy that I’d need a crane?
We completed the exercise at 10:00 am sharp and limped to the grocery store next door to obtain some much-needed groceries (chocolate syrup, sugar cookies, donuts, and heavy cream). I swear, JC was watching us go calorically berserk in the store and just shaking his head! We did get some serious groceries, including baking products, as we plan to make our neighbor some bread.
Upon arriving home, Mary’s back was killing her, so she headed to the TV room to read (the room has excellent lighting from the Sun. While she was resting, I brought in the groceries and put them away.
Upon arriving home, Mary felt like her back had been cast in concrete. It was as if someone had decided to use her spine as a personal seatbelt during a rollercoaster ride—up and down, with all the thrills but none of the fun. She shuffled her way to the TV room, where the sunlight spilled in like a warm hug, ready to comfort her tortured muscles.
Why did her back hurt? Duh!!
“Ah, excellent lighting!” she sighed, plopping herself down on the couch like a deflated balloon. The sunbeams hit just right, making her feel like she had been transformed into a reclining Sun Goddess, ready to bask in her well-earned rest.
Meanwhile, I was heroically (and somewhat dramatically) dealing with the grocery bags. As I wrestled each bag from the car, I felt like a contestant on a game show, trying to transport items without dropping a single thing.
So, while she rested, I planned to load the car with our donation boxes and take them to the Goodwill. Mary asked whether there was anything I wasn’t using.
Alas, I could not go because the van’s battery was dead as a doornail! I called the AA, and they will come out and get me started. While I was waiting, I thought I would start up Mary’s car and go to CVS to pick up some meds, but again, my plan was thwarted by tiny electrons refusing to move. We had another dead vehicle. Precious bit the bullet!
The phrase “bit the bullet” means to endure a painful or unpleasant situation that is unavoidable or necessary. It implies facing a difficult challenge with courage and determination, often after trying to avoid it.
The phrase’s origin is thought to stem from the wartime practice in which soldiers would actually bite down on a bullet during surgeries or medical procedures, often performed without anesthesia. This act was meant to help manage pain and maintain focus. In contemporary usage, the expression has expanded to apply to a wide range of situations.
When the nice man from AA showed up, he tested the van and found that a new battery was needed. To make things worse, Mary’s hot rod had a dead battery, too! So, we are the proud owners of two brand new batteries. $500 wne poof, just like that!
Two of them died in the line of duty! CHARGE!
I finally made the trip to CVS using Precious and her new battery. Between Mary’s back and my battery battle, I decided to pick up In-N-Out burgers for us to nibble on for dinner.
We watched a little TV and crashed at 10:00 pm! Mary was feeling a little better, and I think the glass of wine helped.
We had a little midnight snackie before turning in!
