Summary Of Life....
Great Truths Learned as A Child
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..?
- When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
- Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
- You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
- Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
- Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.?
- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.?
- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.?
Great Truths Adults Have Learned
- Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
- Wrinkles don't hurt.
- Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts?
- Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...?
- Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
- Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..?
Great Truths About Growing Old
- Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...?
- Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.?
- When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
- You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.?
- It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...?
- Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
- Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone. ?
Four Stages Of Life
- You believe in Santa Claus.?
- You don't believe in Santa Claus.
- You are Santa Claus..
- You look like Santa Claus.
Defining Success As We Age
- At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.?
- At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.?
- At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.?
- At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
- At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
- At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.?
- At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.?
- At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants.?
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;?
BUT NEVER?forget the blessings that come each day.?