The Art Of Listening
How important is listening? Listening skills form a solid basis for the communication so necessary between individuals. Effective listening has the potential of enriching all our relationships.
Listening does not mean giving advice. Most times it is enough to sit quietly, empathetically and non-judgmentally.
People usually don't want you to offer solutions. They want a chance to talk about a situation. They want you to hear them out. Listen without offering criticism or suggestions unless asked.
Most of us listen only long enough to shoot from the lip -- to offer a little advice, tell an anecdote from the past, narrate a few stories of our own experiences. Sometimes we cast ourselves in roles of problem solvers.
The key to good listening is a patient curiosity that wants to know what it is really like to be YOU!
Hints For Listening
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Make time.
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Show interest. Looking bored and fidgeting is discourteous. If you are unable or unwilling to listen just then, it is thoughtful to say so.
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Give full attention.
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Listen for feelings. "Hear" between the lines.
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Ask questions.
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Do not think of your answer. Listening is more than just keeping silent until it is your turn to speak. Since you can listen and comprehend faster than a person can speak, use this time to mentally summarize their main ideas.
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Let the speaker finish.
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Keep confidences.
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Be respectful. There is a tendency to "write off" someone's remarks if you do not place much importance in them as a person.