Mom Was A Great Teacher
    
    Wife, Mother, and Great Person
    
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
    What Mom Taught Me
     
     
     
     
     
     
    
      - My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
        
 "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
-  My mother taught me RELIGION.
        
 "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
-  My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL..
        
 "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next 
        week!"
-  My mother taught me LOGIC.
        
 " Because I said so, that's why."
-  My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
        
 "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to 
        the store with me."
-  My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
        
 "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
-  My mother taught me IRONY.
        
 "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
-  My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
        
 "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
-  My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
        
 "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
-  My mother taught me about STAMINA.
        
 "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
-  My mother taught me about WEATHER.
        
 "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
-  My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
        
 "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"
-  My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
        
 "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
-  My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
        
 "Stop acting like your father!"
-  My mother taught me about ENVY.
        
 "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
 have wonderful parents like you do."
-  My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
        
 "Just wait until we get home."
-  My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
        
 "You are going to get it when you get home!"
-  My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
        
 "If you don't stop ! crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck
 that way."
-  My mother taught me ESP.
        
 "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"
-  My mother taught me HUMOR.
        
 "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
-  My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
        
 "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
-  My mother taught me GENETICS.
        
 "You're just like your father."
-  My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
        
 "Shut that door behind you.  Do you think you were born in a barn?"
-  My mother taught me WISDOM.
        
 "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
-  And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
        
 "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you