No Maintenance!
Let me go when it is time!
I, being of sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by artificial means.
Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of peckerhead
politicians
who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their lives depended on it.
If a reasonable amount of time passes and I fail to sit up and ask for piece of
chocolate, it should be presumed that I won't do so ever again. When such a determination
is reached, I hereby instruct my spouse, children and attending physicians to pull
the plug, reel in the tubes and call it a day.
Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature enact a special law
to keep me on life-support machinery. It is my wish that these boneheads mind their
own damn business, and pay attention instead to the health, education and future
of the millions of Americans who aren't in a permanent coma and who nonetheless
may be in need of nourishment.
Under no circumstances shall any politicians butt into this case. I don't care how
many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for their run for the Presidency
in 2008, it is my wish that they play politics with someone else's life and leave
me alone to die in peace.
I couldn't care less if a hundred religious zealots send emails to legislators in
which they pretend to care about me. I don't know these people, and I certainly
haven't authorized them to preach and/or crusade on my behalf. They should mind
their own damn business, too.
If any of my family goes against my wishes and turns my case into a political cause,
I hereby promise to come back from the grave and make his or her existence a living
hell.