* The computer's mouse is, unlike a real mouse, inedible. * I will not play tug-o'-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. * I will not eat any more socks. * I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them. * I will not chew crayons or pens, 'specially not the red ones so my people will think I am dying. * I will not eat any more strawberries... see above!! * I will not roll on freshly picked vegetables. * I will not wake Mommy or Daddy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her ear. * When in the car, I will not insist on having the air conditioning on in Winter. * I must shake the rainwater out of my fur *before* entering the house. * I will not steal my Mom's underwear and show it to the repair man. * The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps. * We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. * My head does not belong in the refrigerator. * I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. * The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. * I do not have to check out the front yard when it is 100 degrees! |