Retirement Does Not Mean You Died!
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better
have a good hand." Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for
a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly
in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia
Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is
a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never
forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady,
and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor?)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through
his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in
front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having
allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's
the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what
I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough
blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
That one is so true and I'm sure that you will agree.
" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan
Rivers
" Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can
buy." Steve Martin
" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things
like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for
in later life." Elmo Phillips
" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George
Burns