1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yestrday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.

10. If you're stting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?"

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposd to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east."

19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.





"I need six months of vacation, twice a year—on a cruise ship!"

"Sea you at the buffet!"

"My favorite ship? Friendship… and the cruise ship, of course."

"I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it—especially on a cruise."

"The sea is my therapy, the cruise ship is my sanctuary."

"The only thing better than a good cruise is a cruise with unlimited ice cream."

"I followed my heart, and it led me to the cruise buffet."

"I don’t need therapy. I just need a cruise ship and some sunshine."

"Let’s sea where the ocean takes us."

"Cruisin’ is the only way to sail through life."

"Life’s a beach, and I’m just cruising by."

"I’m all about that cruise life—no drama, just sea breeze."

"I cruise, therefore I am."

"Ocean air, salty hair, and cruise ship care."

"A cruise is the only way to get away from all your land problems."

"Sail away with me—let’s see where the wind takes us."

"I don’t want to be a land lover anymore."

"Sailing through life one drink at a time."

"Cruise ships: The only place where ‘overboard’ is a good thing."


"Life is better on a cruise."

"All I need is a good ship and a better view."

"Seas the day."

"Anchors away."


"Adventure begins at sea."

"Sail away, live today."

"Ocean vibes and cruise highs."

"Lost at sea, but in the best way."


"Cruisin’ through life with no regrets."

"Cruisin’ and boozin’."

"Sea you on the deck."

"The sea is calling, and I must go."


"Sunsets and seas are my kind of therapy."

"Let the sun set on another perfect day at sea."

"The best part about a cruise is the endless sunshine."

"Cruisin’ into the sunset, where the sun meets the sea."

"The ocean sparkles in the sunlight, making every moment perfect."

"Sail into the sun and leave your worries behind."

"Golden hours at sea are the best kind of hours."

"Chasing the sun, one wave at a time."

"Sunshine on the horizon, adventure on the deck."

"Cruisin’ where the sun meets the sea."

A large cruise ship is anchored in the ocean, viewed from a sandy beach with a palm tree in the foreground.
Cruise Captions for Instagram About Travel
"Where the ocean meets the sky, adventures begin."
"Exploring the world, one port at a time."
"Leaving footprints on the beach, memories on the ship."
"Every destination is a new story on this cruise."
"Travel far, cruise near."
"Embark on a journey to discover the unknown."
"The best view comes after the longest voyage."
"To travel is to live—on a cruise ship, it’s to thrive."
"Adventure is calling, and I must cruise."
"A passport full of stamps, a heart full of adventures."



"The ocean is a reminder that all journeys have a beginning and an end."
"Cruise your way to happiness."
"You don’t need a reason to cruise, just a ship and a dream."
"Set sail towards your dreams, and let the sea take you there."
"May the wind always be at your back and the waves never crash too hard."
"In life, as in cruising, it’s the journey that matters, not just the destination."
"To travel is to grow, to cruise is to thrive."
"A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."
"Embrace the waves of life—ride them with a cruise ship."
"Adventure awaits those who set sail into the unknown."
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Cruise Quotes About Travel and Adventure
"Let the sea set you free, and the adventure begin."
"Life was meant for great adventures—and a cruise is one of the best."
"I want to be where the ocean meets adventure."
"Leave the land behind and find your adventure at sea."
"The adventure begins as soon as you step onto the ship."
"Go on a journey that leads you beyond the horizon."
"Every cruise is an adventure, every port a new story."
143. "Sailing the seas, discovering new shores, and living the adventure of a lifetime."
"The best adventures are found on the water."
"Adventure is calling, and I’m answering—on a cruise ship."


"A cruise is a great way to discover new destinations and gain 10 pounds in a week."
"Cruising with family is like a floating reunion, except you can't escape to the bar in the next village"
"I don't always take a cruise, but when I do, I prefer to have a drink in my hand."
"Going on a cruise is like being on a diet, except the only thing you're not cutting back on is your daily steps."
"Why did the cruise ship go to the doctor? Because it was feeling a little seasick."
"I went to the Gym to get Ship-Shape, but now I'm the Shape of a Ship!"