We were supposed to go to the Elks for Salsa Dance lessons, but mid-morning we decided to stay home and get the house ready for Halloween.
We decorated our home from five LARGE containers of goodies, each one containing memories dating back years and years. Each decoration has its own story.
Paul and Mary decided October deserved “a little atmosphere,” which was how they ended up dragging five enormous containers of Halloween decorations into the living room.
The first bin produced skull wine glasses, which Paul arranged on the bar “for classy vampires.”
The second held champagne flutes clutched by skeleton hands; Mary filled one with wine and toasted “to tasteful terror,” just as Paul grabbed the glass and drank it.
By bin three, spider webs covered the staircase, the sofa, and most of Paul. “I’m helping,” he said, blinking through gauze.
Bin four unleashed pumpkin lights, which blinked happily around the mantle until Mary realized she had spelled BOO backward. Paul insisted “OOB” sounded scarier. Secretly he hoped it was spelled “BOOB”.
The fifth container was the troublemaker. Black spiders crawled over lamps, a motion-sensor ghost screamed whenever anyone breathed, and a severed hand kept saying, “Nice try!” from under the coffee table.
Exhausted, we stepped back to admire our work.
So we worked at a leisurely pace all day and got everything up; all that remains is replacing some batteries and a few light bulbs. Mary was a real hero all day. You can see more pictures of our efforts on our Halloween Website
Here are some funny trivia bits about Halloween decorations:
- Jack-o’-lanterns were originally made from turnips, not pumpkins. Early versions looked way creepier — like haunted vegetables with dental problems.
- Fake cobwebs are basically Halloween glitter: you put them up “lightly,” and somehow they’re still stuck in your bushes in February.
- The giant yard skeleton craze really took off thanks to a 12-foot skeleton sold by Home Depot. It became so popular people started naming them and decorating them for other holidays too.
- Black cats became Halloween symbols partly because of old superstitions, but today most black cats are just confused why everyone suddenly wants themed merch of them.
- Inflatable decorations are modern Halloween royalty — nothing says spooky like a 9-foot ghost gently collapsing because someone unplugged the extension cord.
- Orange and black are Halloween colors for a reason: orange represents autumn harvest, and black represents death, darkness, and the inside of your candy bag after you eat everything good.
- Some people decorate for Halloween before September is over, proving that Halloween is less of a holiday and more of a lifestyle choice.
- Plastic skeletons are anatomically questionable, which means somewhere a doctor is silently judging your porch.
- The “witch crashed into a tree” decoration became popular because apparently Halloween comedy peaks at poor broomstick navigation.
- Pumpkins are technically fruit, so carving them into screaming faces is basically extreme fruit salad.
We tore into the boxes and died to our early-onset Alzheimer’s; it was like Christmas for us. Everything seemed new, even though many of the decorations were forty years old.
At Halloween, we enjoy our wine in vintage skull glasses!
Poor Robin inherited my rather questionable sense of humor, and during her wanderings around town, she spotted the perfect kitchen towel for us.
Naturally, it now hangs in the place of honor on our wall oven, where no guest can possibly miss it.
It got several comments at our last party — which, in our family, means it was either a big hit or we’ve once again made people question our upbringing.
We both decorated together — technically. I provided the manual labor, and Mary provided the talent, vision, and the ability to stop me from making it look like a hardware store exploded.
We finished up around 6:00 p.m. and headed to the pool, where we quickly discovered it was about five degrees colder than our delicate little bodies are willing to tolerate at this stage of life.
So we turned off the heat, admitted defeat, and retreated to “Ol’ Trusty” — our swim spa. It was 94 degrees, also known as “the correct temperature for civilized humans.”
We watched a TV series called Best Doctor. It’s a 2025 medical comedy-drama about a talented surgeon who leaves his high-level surgical career and moves to a small town in Maine to work as a local doctor. The story follows his transition from elite surgery to small-town medicine as he navigates quirky residents, personal setbacks, and the challenges of being a brilliant but socially awkward doctor. It’s based on the British series “Doc Martin.”
We crashed around 10:30 pm.
